Land Of The Free, Home Of The Braless

You know that life-changing feeling, the one where you finally take off your bra after hours of its suffocation and feel like you can fly? What if I told you there was a way to experience this relief at all times? The trick, my friends, is to lose the bra altogether.

If you are a bra-sporting lady, you know that bras, for lack of a better term, suck, and they suck hard. Like, who wants to be tied down? This is the land of the free, after all.

And being free means not putting up with lies, which in this case means not settling for a push-up bra that will give the false illusion of the breast size you don’t actually have. The guy you’re trying to get with thinks you have a C-cup when you’re really only an A. Awkward.

Instead of lying to the cutie from the bar, you should decide to forego the bra and rock out with your bad self. Ultimately, he will love your braless physique and take you home. One thing will lead to another, the steamy makeout sesh will lead to some other things, and he will be ready to kick it up a notch. Once things gets really hot and heavy, you won’t even have to assist your man friend in the unclipping.

Speaking of bra clips, that shit is tight and leads to unwanted discomfort. Instead of putting my girls through pain, I like to give back to my babes in an effortless way that helps both them and me, by choosing options fit for children or no options at all. When I do choose to wear bras, which let’s be real is like once a year, I opt for the baby styles such as So Nikki training bras, little lace numbers sans underwire or sticky bras.

Instead of opting for one of the many options on the market, I am smart enough to know that when mixed with a little sweat, these sticky boob contraptions will slide right off my tits and onto the floor. And, since sexual backless tops are all the rage now, relinquishing the bra will allow for a seamless presentation.

If discomfort to your person isn’t enough, let me be the first to inform you of the discomfort you will present to your wallet when buying “the right bra for your body.” If you decide to spend all that money, you should probably take good care of your purchases, right? At least that’s what my mom tells me.

Unfortunately, taking care of bras translates into hand washing which translates into ain’t nobody got time for that. Honestly, the easiest way to wash your bras is to not wash them at all. Sounds gross, but if there are no bras to not wash, aren’t you beating the system? I think so.

So, young braless ladies, go forth into the world singing the catchy jingle, “tits out for the boys, tits out for the boys.” Only this time, insist on putting your best breast forward without anything holding you back.

Featured image via Pexels