A lot of relationships today start of from physical attraction. Let’s say a guy likes what you are wearing or thinks your hair makes you look hot…so he approaches you. Whether you are the gym, a party, or in class, a guy will approach you with interest because he is intrigued by your looks. Of course he is a good looking frat star so you are instantly taken back and think to yourself, “Wow I caught his attention? Me, of all people?” Then comes number exchange, late night texting, and maybe even a date. This is where it all starts. And usually it ends quite soon after that.
But I do not want a guy to notice my looks. I want him to fall for me when I am in the baggy t-shirt and sweatpants I wear most days. I want him to notice me when my hair is in a messy-bun. I want him to notice me when I was in too big of a rush to apply mascara.
I want a guy to fall for my personality. I want him to smile when he hears me answer the phone because my voice is high pitch and squeaky but he loves the sound. I want him to pay attention to the little things like how I like my coffee and my hangry tendencies. I want him to show me off as a person, not as an object. I do not want him to tell his friends that I am hot, I want him to tell them I am beautiful.
I want to meet him for the first time in my sweat pants and I want to be stuck in his head for what I said or did not how I looked. He should love me for me, not my looks.
There are always going to be the girls that impress guys with their looks; and that is more than fine. They can do what they want to do. But I want the guy that still wants to know my name because of my personality and the sound of my laugh, not the dress and heels I wore.
We all fantasize about what our next boyfriend will be like. We all have “our type.” But one major thing that I think we are overlooking is that we may not have a type. We might not know what we want until we have it. Maybe love needs to be so apparent that we couldn’t miss it. Could it be that there are traits that we only like on that person?
Let things happen as they may and keep on keepin’ on in your Nike shorts and XL t-shirt.
One of the most important things to realize before you get in a relationship is that you are and need to be okay without him. Once you know you are okay without him, you know that no matter what happens you will be okay.
In this day and age people jump into things. We are a generation consumed by instant gratification. If we know something will have a good outcome we decide that is the right path even if we know it requires minimal effort and nothing good in the long run.
Instead of jumping into relationships and trying to find our one and only right now, we should be focusing on ourselves. If he comes along right now, that is luck. If he does not, that is life.
Featured image via cottonbro on Pexels
Yeah, you know, turn yourself into a whale so that men will only be attracted by your personality.
Looks matter. You can’t fight biology. Personality matters for relationships. Without looks, sex is off the table for most men. And without sex, why would a man care about a relationship?