I never understood what you meant when you would say, “Every little thing I’m putting you through now is for the best.” I would stomp my foot aggressively and look at you and ask, “are you kidding me?” Because, really, who, at a young age of about 10-12, would understand why I am not allowed to go out with my friends to play? I will try with all my might to persuade you to change your mind until I eventually succumb to your rules.
I never understood what you meant when you singled out some of my guy friends telling me countless times that they’d be bad for me. “I’ve been here before. Listen to me, young lady.” I reasoned with you (of course) trying to “open” your mind to what I thought I knew but, well, we both know where this story leads to.
I never understood what you meant when you sat me down one day telling me that I should grow up and learn to face my fears. I bawled and told you that it’s not that I didn’t want to do it; it’s that I didn’t know how to do it. You told me to stop crying because it’s not making the situation better.
In all honesty, there are a lot of things you did that I wasn’t able to comprehend immediately, but now, with all the years that have passed, I’d like to say that I finally understand. Thank you for teaching me to wait.
Thank you for opening up my eyes to the reality that some people cannot stay. Nor are they meant to stay in your life.
Thank you for making me stand up on my own; for giving me the freedom to choose for myself, but with your guidance. There are many other lessons I could mention but they all boil down to what I really want you to hear (or read *insert eye roll*). Dad, thank you for making me the person that I am today. Although I haven’t reached my ultimate goal yet, I can firmly say that, with you by my side (even with your side comments), I now have the ability to face life head on, still with a little bit of dread but never with the thought of giving up.
Thank you for always having my back.
I love you dearly.
P.S. You were right. There. I said it. Happy Father’s Day!
Featured image via Tatiana Syrikova on Pexels
