We all remember our first love. How could we possibly forget the heart racing, mind blowing, and all-encompassing feeling when someone steals our heart for the first time? It’s addicting and exhilarating; our first loves make us believe in soul mates and a forever. It may be for 2 months or 2 years, but we’re in the perfect state of euphoria.
Until it ends.
Let’s face it: most of us don’t marry our first loves. (And if you do end up getting married, good for you!) As happy as we were in the relationship, we’re as equally as devastated when it ends. Even when we move on, we’ll always have a soft spot for our first love simply because they were our first.
Personally, I feel bad for our second loves. And our thirds, and fourths. We always reminisce over how great our first loves were, but what about the others? I’m not saying forget about your first love, but here’s why your second (or seventh) is even better.
1. You actually know how to be in a relationship.
Chances are, most of our first relationships occurred in high school or early college when we had no f*cking clue what we were doing. Of course part of the beauty of first loves is figuring out all that relationship stuff for the first time, but the second or third time around, it’s pretty nice to have a general idea of how to be in a relationship. You don’t have to question how long to text back after a fight anymore because in your second relationship, you’ve already made up.
2. You know what you want.
…and what you don’t want. Every relationship, good or bad, you learn something about yourself. As *~perfect~* as our first loves were, let’s be real; sometimes they really pissed us off. With one relationship under your belt, you have a better idea of what you want out of a significant other. Because you have a better idea of what you want and need, your second love is probably better suited for you than your first.
3. They make falling in love beautiful again.
One of the most common reactions to a breakup is despair that we’ll never fall in love again. It’ll never be as good or fun or awesome as the first time. But now here you are, on the verge of falling for someone wonderful and magically love becomes beautiful again. All of a sudden, you’re excited to fall.
4. They fixed your broken heart.
Sure, your own determination and self-love helped you heal after your first relationship, but the fact that you’re in a relationship again has a lot to do with your new boyfriend or girlfriend. They make you feel comfortable and loved enough to risk heartbreak. And that in itself means you aren’t so broken anymore.
No matter what, our first loves will hold a special place in our hearts and histories. But I think our second loves and all the ones who follow deserve some credit too, because they’re the ones who make loving again, worth it.
Featured image via Steshka Willems on Pexels
