Whenever I meet new girls out with my boyfriend and his friends, they introduce themselves as, “Hi, I’m _______, I’m _______’s girlfriend.” Never do they introduce themselves without their boyfriend’s name attached on the end.
I thought a lot about how women introduce themselves-as somebody’s girlfriend, somebody’s fiancé, somebody’s wife.
Nowadays, I find it oddly less common for women to identify themselves without identifying themselves with a man. To me, that is an issue.
In a society where it seems like everyone is trying to find a relationship. Whether the cause be from loneliness, FOMO from everyone’s perfect couple Instagram selfies, or lack of sex, everyone is desperate to fall in love. So much so that they’re willing to displace their identity to do so.
In a recent article with the New York Times, model, author and television show host Chrissy Teigen talks about being identified so often as “John Legend’s wife,” and not as simply “Chrissy Teigen.”
She’s a Sports Illustrated cover model, an author of a cookbook, and hosts several television shows-yet she is still identified as belonging to a man.
So often, the success of men overshadows the success of women. If you’re married to a successful man and you yourself are also successful, why should his success dominate the relationship?
The answer is simple – it shouldn’t. Beyoncé would never introduce herself as Jay-Z’s wife.
Maintaining your individuality while in a relationship is important to not only the relationship’s success, but your success (and sanity).
Looking back over the years, I’ve had my fair share of “looking for love” and trying to find that “perfect” relationship. I had to realize that no relationship is perfect; you have to make it work for you, and therefore it’ll be perfect in your eyes.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 4 years now, and to me, my relationship is pretty damn near perfect. One of the main reasons it is – we both keep our individuality and independence, while still nurturing a solid love.
It’s okay to have different interests:
People always say that to find someone you love, you should have similar interests. While this may be true, oftentimes you’ll be intrigued and attracted to someone who has completely different interests than you. This isn’t a bad thing.
Having different interests means you are your own person. You don’t need to dive into new hobbies and completely let go of the ones you love to please a man.
Time apart is good:
There’s no divine rule that says you have to spend every single second of every single day with your man. Actually, time apart is good for your relationship. You should always maintain your circle of friends and make sure you see them often.
When you spend time apart, you’re able to keep hold of your life before your boyfriend and relationship. It’s important to not make your relationship the end-all-be-all of your life.
Most importantly, don’t put your dreams on hold for anyone.
Featured image via Jonathan Borba on Pexels
