Being a girl can be awesome, especially when it comes to going out. Any given night, you are guaranteed to have all your drinks (and if you’re lucky, a late night pizza) paid for by some desperate guy. But being a girl isn’t always the glitz and glory of free beer. On the other hand, being a girl can be a huge pain in the ass. In order to get all your drinks paid for you, you have to spend at least an hour and a half getting ready because nobody’s going to blow their dime on you unless you look ridiculously good. The struggle is real and all my fellow females are well aware of these 5 moments where we all wish we had a pecker:
- That time of the month.
Hello, mood swings. One moment you are the happiest girl in the world and the pure taste of chocolate is everything you ever wanted and more. Ten minutes later, you are crying and hating everyone who comes your way. Why must we be so unstable for a good 2 weeks of every month? Yes two FULL weeks, one week is PMS and the other is the actual cramp-ridden week. That’s 26 weeks of the entire year where you have no control of your feelings. Let that sink in.
- Over-analyzing every detail in life.
It’s so bad most nights you can’t even make the simple decision of whether to have pizza or sushi. It’s exhausting trying to read into every text and whether “hey” or “hi” mean something completely different, or whether or not you can ask this guy to your sorority dated one week or 6 days in advance to make you seem less eager. Someone, just give us a pair of cojones so we can stop being nervous about every little decision that comes our way.
- Makeup.
We all know too well that it’s both a blessing and a curse. Without makeup, everyone would see our gaping imperfections, and God forbid that ever happen. But truthfully, it freaking sucks needing to put on concealer, mascara, blush, eyeliner, etc. every time you want to leave your bedroom because if you don’t you can expect to be asked, “Are you okay?… You look tired.” Yes, I know I look like shit, I’m sorry this is my face.
- Dealing with betchy girls.
Girls are never easy. You love to hate them. You can never trust their true intentions, and are constantly thinking they will instantly talk shit behind your back the second you leave the room. Why can’t we just be adults here? If you have a problem why don’t you just tell me? That’s a lot better than finding out accidentally by seeing text messages about me pop up on your computer (Damn you, Apple).
- Boys.
You can’t live with them, and you sure as hell can’t live without them. They make our world spin round and are the topic of 95% of all female conversations. The true question is why must they be so complicated? If you like us just tell us, don’t go hook up with a girl in my sorority and then apologize and tell me you like me. Decrypting hidden messages and trying to win the never-ending chess match that is called love is the most tiresome and pain in the ass part about being a girl. At the end of the day, we’re all just looking for our Prince Charming.
Being a girl can royally suck, but honestly, it’s a lot better than being a guy. Can you imagine having to buy a guy and his 6 friends tequila shots in hopes to get with him at the end of the night? The worst part is 90% of the time the girl is just using him for the free drinks. So, go spend those extra bucks you saved to buy yourself a bottle of Merlot, and realize it isn’t all that bad being a lady.
Featured image via Andre Moura on Pexels
