I know you feel like you’ve played all your cards, and that you’ve done absolutely everything in your power to turn things around. You’ve failed, and it’s not just a missed test, or a bad break up. You feel like you failed yourself. You feel like you let everyone around you down, and that there’s no looking up, or future ahead of you.
But you’re wrong.
Life has hiccups, sneezes, bumps, and laughs. It’s a constant roller coaster, but I’m begging that you stay along for the ride. Finals season can make you feel small; smaller than you’ve ever felt before, and the pressure of to-do lists that span across pages and pages of size 12 font double spaced essays and multiple choice questions where you’re overwhelmed by an aura that convinces you the answer has to fit into a tiny bubble sheet with only four choices. You’re life appears to be flooded with people telling you you’ve failed. Today, you’re going to give up; true or false?
False.
Today, you’re going to come out on top, and you’re going to prove to everyone who made you feel not smart enough, not good enough, not pretty enough, and not worthy enough, that there are more than four choices to find the right answer. Finals week can be deafening, and you’re likely to face much more than just a line up of tests this week. Stress levels bring out the worst in everyone, so I challenge you to try your best. And for the times when you’re losing hope, here’s some success stories of tried and tested people, just like you. Things will be okay:
“The end of my relationship felt like a failure to me. He’s the one who cheated, but I stayed and felt like a failure when ultimately, he was the one who left me. This failure gave me the motivation to be more social than ever, & work harder than ever in school. I joined clubs, and volunteered. I know it sounds cliché but it’s honestly just to move forward. Acknowledge that you failed someone, and maybe even yourself, but you can learn from it. Don’t let yourself over think the ‘what ifs’ and take the lessons that you learned from this failure and use it to motivate yourself to be a better you. The reality check of it was knowing that if I kept going the way I was, I would be failing more than just one relationship, I wouldn’t get the chance to meet someone new because I’d be setting myself up to stop trying.” – Olivia, 22
“I’ve always had a set plan for my life – I would go to my dream school, graduate with honors, find a great job, and live life happily ever after. But that all changed when I reached the deepest pits of my depression at PTSD my freshman year of college. I was at my coveted dream school, I met my best friend, I fell in love, but I was failing classes. I was five and a half hours away from my family and everything I was used to. I was struggling with life even though I had everything that I thought I wanted. I am finally healing after transferring schools. I felt like I ran away, and as if that made me cowardly but I think I needed to go through a hellish freshman year to be able to see the good in my every day struggles. At the time, I felt worthless, unloved, ashamed, and guilty to give up on the life I thought was perfect. I didn’t think I was worthy of the sunny days or bright smiles. I know it seems like that light at the end of the tunnel is impossible to reach right now, but I promise you’ll get there. Take a step or two back, let yourself breathe, and remind yourself what you’re fighting for.” – Kady, 20
“I failed first midterm ever of university by 2% because I didn’t know how to study properly, and I wasn’t open-minded about changing the way I had come to learn. I did well in highschool, so I was stubborn about keeping my old ways. I felt like there was something wrong with me, not my study habits or university routine. I took the blame on myself and it took distance away from that bubble when I went on a trip across the world by myself. Here, I realized something that I should’ve just opened my eyes to at home. There is a bigger picture and life is about conforming to fit your environment. It’s constantly changing, and I couldn’t always be the person I had been, I had to learn to grow and evolve with time. Your marks don’t define you, and they’re just a stepping stone in this crazy journey where you could be failing one minute, but succeeding with flying colours the next. Try your best, and keep an open mind.” – Allie, 20
“When I decided to end my life it wasn’t because I was a coward or selfish. It was because I believed my life served absolutely no purpose and all I was doing was destroying anyone who tried to get too close to me; that I was taking up entirely too much space in the world. Dealing with the stress from school and my family, getting out of an abusive relationship, and losing a child before I even had a chance to be a mother to him; I just couldn’t do it anymore. That night I went to bed with the anticipation of never waking up again. But when I woke up I was not only embarrassed that I failed, but I was even more hurt with dried up blood on my wrists, bed sheets, clothes, and carpet. I’m still not sure why I never tried again after that, but a few years later I met the love of my life that I almost lost in a motorcycle accident and he and I are extremely grateful for life in a new light. Even though the fog from my depression has lifted, I don’t think I will never fully be free from it. But I am thankful for the days where I can see the sunshine, which gives me a glimmer of hope that for once in my life, things may turn out alright. Never take those days for granted, and if you’re thinking of ending your life, don’t. Just hold out a little longer, I promise, it’ll be worth the wait.” – Melissa, 23
As for my own failures, I’ve been through that slump of wanting to drop out and feeling like I hadn’t earned my place in school, just like you. But perseverance is a funny thing, and you will never be prouder than the moment you conquer all the things you’re afraid of. You’re approaching one of the most hectic times of the year, so please take care of yourself. Watch for signs of discomfort in your friends, have each other’s backs and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Oscar Wilde wasn’t talking bullsh*t when he said, “Bitter trials, more often than not, turn into blessings in disguise.” You can push through this, and I’m so proud of your successes already.
Featured image via RF._.studio on Pexels
