Every girl likes to think they’re fierce like Queen B after a night out. Truth be told, you’re probably a hot mess after drinking, dancing, and drunk eating. I know I’m guilty of walking to my cab thinking I’m hot shit when I probably look like a crazy drunk girl about to fall flat on my ass. Every girl has had that one night (or multiple nights) when you get completely hammered and do stupid shit. The next day, you wonder, “Why did I do that?” or you pretend the night never happened, and just hide in bed all day. I’ve had my fair share of nights where I want to forget my night ever happened, or completely need to be filled in on what did actually happen. We all have embarrassing moments when we’re drunk, and it’s a part of the experience, I guess? Here are the top 10 most embarrassing moments that a girl regrets after a night out:
1. Drunk Texting/Phone Calls
Not to your friends either because these special texts and calls are especially saved for your ex, the friend you’re fighting with, or worse – family. Bonus points if you hit all the above. The best are the cute 2 am texts that your friends relentlessly make fun of you for. This is the last time you try to be affectionate with your friends. But, the worst is drunkenly giving away your phone number to a random and having them actually contact you the day after…like, I don’t even remember you.
2. Starting A Fight
As stated, I definitely think my friends & I are #squadgoals when we go out. Honestly, we’re probably super obnoxious and annoying but whatever. When you’re drunk, you feel like you’re the top boss and can take anyone or anything. You SWEAR that girl was just giving you the side-eye even though she was probably trying to get around you.
3. Drunken Dancing/Hookups
In your mind, you are the queen and your dancing is flawless. Sorry to break it to you but, in the mess of sweat, drinks, and craziness – everyone’s dancing looks the same. While you’re dancing with the girls, a stranger (or a friend, which may be worse) comes up and somehow, you end up making out on the dance floor. You drunkenly think that he’s the most perfect and hottest guy around and you’re ready to be with him forever. Sober you wonders what the f*ck you were thinking.
4. Losing Your Clothes
Whether it’s a shoe, shirt, jacket, or your entire outfit, losing your clothes is an embarrassing moment that we all wonder how it even happened. You’re internally mildly impressed with the fact that this even happened but you’re probably more like WTF.
5. Puking
The worst thing to happen is actually puking while you’re still drunk. Hangover puking is something your sober self-will hate but can handle. When you’re still drunk – that is a mission. Even more embarrassing? Puking in a public place or on someone.
6. Drunk Crying
What’s worse than Kim Kardashian ugly crying? You drunk crying. You’re either drunk crying from bumping into an ex, not getting your way, or having an emotional moment of truth with your best friends. These lines usually start out as “Guys, I swear I’m not really that drunk but I just wanted to let you know that you guys are the BEEEEEEEST friends that I’ve ever had.”
7. Social Media Posts
There should be a way to block all social media accounts when going out at night. The only pro of feeling the need to update all your social media accounts is that you at least have a record of what happened at night? The con of all of this will be the endless teasing you will endure for years to come.
8. The Bruises
Falling everywhere and in the most embarrassing ways too. While you can rock heels on the daily, doing so while drunk takes effort and coordination that you probably don’t have in that moment. Walking down the street, you look like a lost baby deer. Bonus points if you fall down the stairs, into a crush, ex, or stay where you fell and just sleep!
9. Falling Asleep…
You’re ready to hookup…until you fell asleep. I feel like this is self-explanatory. How does one even explain that? What do you even do the next morning if they’re still there? Also, if they for some reason stuck around, hang onto them! He’s probably a godsend.
10. Blackout
The number one most embarrassing thing a girl can do while drunk is to blackout. Not a minor blackout where some parts are missing but a full on rage blackout where the next morning will involve lots of “What happened?”, “I’m SO sorry”, and “Please tell me that didn’t really happen.”.
It’s really sad to know that my friends or myself have somehow encountered ourselves in many of these situations but at the same time, we’re in our twenties. It’s a time for mistakes and while it’s embarrassing to end up in any of these situations, it’s always funnier a week, month, or year later.
Featured image via Omar Lopez on Unsplash
8! yep! i bruise like a peach & the next day am i the showering examining myself like i was in an MMA fight.