After three years and one transfer to a school five hours closer later, I’ve come to learn and experience for myself that college can be both the lowest of lows and the highest of highs. It will knock you down and shake you up, but it will be the helping hand to pick you back up again. It will have you loving every minute of your life, your friends, your major, everything, one day and leave you skipping classes, meals, and social gatherings the next, wondering if anything is even worth it anymore.
And while there were some lessons I hated having to face, I now know they were lessons I had to go through, because they have made me wiser, better, stronger. Of course, I’m not the only one who’s ever had their fair share of lessons learned a little too late. I asked family and friends what they thought and after a handful of responses poured in, a few crucial words of wisdom became very apparent:
1. If it doesn’t make you happy, don’t do it.
A lot of us our days are so caught up in making the most money or living in the biggest house that we tend to forget this little thing called happiness. We think “oh, I’ll be happier once I’m making $90,000 a year” as we push three all-nighters in a row studying something we’ve never dreamt of doing just because of the salary promised. For awhile there I was the same way. I have wanted nothing more than to be a journalist since my freshman year of high school. I’ve grown accustomed to the monotonous response of “you know they don’t make that much, right?” Like yeah, I do know that, thanks for telling me for the thousandth time. But funny thing is, I’ve never been in it for the money. I could have chosen to take a pre-med route, or majored in business, but I’ve never had the passion for that. My mom always told me the money would work itself out in the end, as long as I was living everyday doing something I genuinely loved. I’m okay living off rice and beans for a year if it means I get to write my heart out every morning. In short, if it doesn’t make you feel like Ferris Bueller on his day off, don’t do it.
2. Mental health is just as important as physical health.
I won’t lie – I fully expected college to be this awesome thing, this “best four years of your life” experience, but the first semester knocked me right out of that fantasy in a matter of weeks. I became so absorbed in things; a new boyfriend, making sure I met plenty of people, wanting to seem cool, doing well in classes, etc. Eventually, I completely avoided taking care of my mental health until it got to a point where I had to or I didn’t know if I would make it to the next day. There’s a stigma surrounding mental health that causes it to be pushed to the back of our minds when it should be at the front. It’s important to ask yourself how you’re doing, if you’re getting enough to eat, if you’re sleeping enough, are your emotions in check? There is nothing wrong with talking about mental illness. There is nothing to be ashamed of. There is nothing wrong with you and there is nothing wrong for asking for help. You are not meant to fight through life alone.
3. Stop saying “oh, I’ll do that later” because procrastination will get you nowhere.
Yep, learned this one the hard way, too. Especially with those six page papers some professors assign at the beginning of the semester that won’t be due for another couple of weeks. Especially when those papers are boring AF to research let alone write. But it makes it easier if you at least get it started. Working on something a bit everyday or every other day makes it seem a little less overwhelming and daunting. Set reminders on your phone, write it in your planner. Do whatever it is you need to do to make sure you work on that mid-term or that paper or that project, Because life’s going to get really sucky if you end up remembering it the night before it’s due and you’re walking around like a zombie the next day.
4. Make friends (or at least acquaintances) in each of your classes.
This is one I still struggle with the most. As awkward as it might seem at first, it comes in handy when you’re in need of extra clarification on a lesson, or when you miss class and need the notes for the day, or when the prof assigns a group project and nobody knows who to turn to. Step outside your comfort zone and make it a point to talk to the person sitting beside you. Chances are, they’ve been wanting to do the same thing.
5. Always be aware.
In this case, especially at parties and social functions. Yes, they are a blast to go to, but make sure you don’t go alone. Always have an accountability partner and it never hurts to have a safe word you can tell each other when you start to feel uncomfortable and need to leave. Also, never leave your drink unattended. There are too many people in the world who have no qualms switching your drink out or adding something to it. Keep track of what’s in your drink and don’t let someone else get yours, especially if it’s a mixed drink. Parties are fun. They’re good to let off steam and make memories, but if you do choose to go, just be safe.
College can be the best four years of your life like everyone says, but those four years will have you learning more lessons than you think you can handle sometimes. And that’s okay. Learn them while you’re still young and grow from them as you get older.
Featured image via Daria Shevtsova on Pexels
