Fear is a big part of life. Fear is what holds people back, ruins an otherwise good day, and destroys happy people and relationships. My biggest fear has always been dying. The idea that my life could be taken away in an instant and that I wouldn’t be ready. I fear that I would miss out on things I should’ve had the chance to experience.
Fears can be rational or irrational. I don’t know which one mine is. My fear seems so reasonable to me, but some people say it doesn’t make sense to be afraid of something so uncontrollable and ultimately inevitable. I started to wonder what other people are afraid of. Not just simple fears, I wanted to know what the biggest, deepest fears in other women’s lives were.
I hoped that by learning what people were afraid of, I would be able to decide if fear can really be classified as “rational” or “irrational.” I was shocked at how many women were willing to share these fears with me. Here are some of their responses:
Some people fear being alone…
Being single forever. – Robyn, 22
Not having friends. – Emily, 21
Rejection/being alone forever. – Michelle, 23
Ending up alone. – Shelby, 22
Some fear not being successful…
My biggest fear is that I’ll get old and won’t have achieved all the things I wanted to in life. I’ll be alone. Without a husband or children. I’ll have missed opportunities to reach my goals. I’ll never see what the world has to offer. I want to make a difference. – Charlotte, 22
My biggest fear is having to settle for less than I deserve in life, my relationships and job. I’m scared that after all my schooling and hard work I will actually suck at being a nurse. My other fear is clowns but I’m coping day by day. – Janet, 22
I think my biggest fear is not accomplishing anything significant in my life. I also have a fear of being stuck in a toxic relationship that controls my decisions. – Faye, 22
Having to rely on someone else for everything. Not being able to take care of myself. – Vicky, 44
Failing the next generation from lack of investment in their learning, and mental health. – Liz, 23
My biggest fear is to pursue my dream career, because once I do what will I have to strive for after that? – Kennidy, 20
Failing at being a mother, being like my mother. – Jess, 24
Disappointing someone. – Maddy, 19
Some fear missing out…
That I will be too busy trying to make money that I can’t see the world. – Caroline, 19
Doing things I think will make other people happy instead of making myself happy. – Caton, 24
Dying before I get to appreciate life and live it to the fullest potential I possibly can and having people not remember my name. – Georgie, 22
Not feeling like I used my life well when it ends. – Ashlie, 26
Never getting pregnant (struggling with infertility for 27 cycles.) – Dodgena, 20
Never being happily married or only having it last for a short time. – Sam, 27
I love kids so much, but I’m only 22 chasing my career. I’m terrified that when I’m ready to have kids I won’t be able to have my own. – Bella, 22
Some fear loss…
The loss of my son the same way I lost my daughter. Scares the heck out of me. – Jen, 35
Losing loved ones. – Lu, 19
Losing my sister. We had a rough childhood & teenage years weren’t any better. She’s about 3 yrs older & there is no one else that comes close to her in my book. We couldn’t live more different lifestyles but she understands me without fail. I fear the day she leaves this world as if it were going to be my own time of death. – Gwen, 25
Losing one of my children (my son has depression.) – Cheryl, 50
Some fear threats…
Someone breaking into my place. – Veronica, 27
Being raped. – Aurora, 21
Having my child sexually abused. – Amanda, 32
How I’ll be able to support myself financially once I am unable to work. – Laura Grace, 42
Heights and being closed in. – Ethel, 68
And some fear life itself…
I fear what most people do at my age: crippling student debt and not obtaining the job I love but the job I have to have to pay for it. Also spiders. – Debrah Rose-Ann, 21
Coming out about my sexuality and not being accepted. – Julie, 46
My biggest fear is imperfection. I’m so scared when anything doesn’t go right. I have to look perfect, I have to be perfect at work, in hopes my life will be perfect. I know not everything works out like that, but the idea of doing anything less than perfect makes me feel sick. It’s frustrating sometimes because I’m always so hard on myself and set standards I don’t even need. – Casey, 20
Feeling empty/devoid of feeling. – Laurie, 51
What I learned is simple. There is no such thing as an irrational fear. As I read these women’s greatest fears I couldn’t imagine telling any of them that their fear was invalid. Things don’t have to “make sense” to someone else to control your every thought. No amount of reassurance is going to change that even if there is a small chance of something happening, it could, and that alone might keep you up at night.
Life happens everyday and it means that we have every reason to be afraid. Bad things can and do happen, even to the best people. But if I could say one thing to all these women it would be that regardless of what you’re afraid of, have hope. Any one of these fears could come true. There’s no sense in lying about that but good things can happen, too. Choose to focus on the possibilities of dreams coming true instead of fears and you might just conquer your worst nightmares.
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Your all right to fear loanliness but luckily for you laidys loanliness is a male only issue, yes some women are alone in later life, but a lot of men never have anyone ever and get rejected their entire lives and never even have the chance to hold another human being, its not a nice way to live, eventually after a few decades your sanity starts to slip and theres nothing you can do but keep trying and keep getting rejected over and over and over again, every day for decade after decade ! not a nice way to live, you women are so lucky you dont have to live like this !
well brian, men are lucky enough to not feel the crippling fear or being raped
So, what you’re saying is men literally NEED women to live? Hm- explains a lot tbh.
And ohhh buddy are you embarrassingly wrong on every bit of this.
Loneliness is a HUMAN feeling that EVERYONE experiences. It’s actually depressing yet funny that you’re literally gatekeeping loneliness for men. Like, you’re admitting ya’ll are always miserable? Lol.
And no one needs a partner in any sense. If you crave love and attention but aren’t able to be happy without someone- you’re codependent, which isn’t good at all. Trust me, babe, you don’t need an S.O. to be happy. Be happy with yourself and you’ll soon see how it’ll improve your overall mental health state of being.
And tbh it kinda sounds like you think women owe it to men to be with them in every sense, when they most certainly never owe men anything ever.
Listen- I’m sorry you can’t get a partner but that isn’t an excuse to act like this: “oH WoMeN nEvEr fEeL LoNElInESS bEcAUsE tHeY’RE LuCkY tO hAvE mEn AT aLL aNd I’M a SpEcIal LIttLE sNoWfLaKE wHo nEeDS aTtEnTION tO lIVE- nO oNE uNdErStANDS mE”. Lmfaooooo. You’re so childish bro.
Just stop.
I can absolutely identify with the fear of not being successful. I actually posted a video (https://youtu.be/m1tmqKWle_o) talking about my biggest fear and how I’m taking steps to conquering it for good.
Great information here about the women’s fears.
My biggest fear is for my children like any other mother