If you were to write a biography of my life in my 20s, it could be titled “How To Sleep With The Wrong Men.” It’s just something I’m unfortunately skilled at, and something I seem to do over and over. And over.
No amount of wishing can rewind time or undo those nights (or weeks, in some cases). However, like everything in life, my romps in a few too many wrong beds were all learning experiences. To save you the horror of making the same mistakes, here are the top 5 people you should never EVER sleep with (unless they’re one of the exceptions):
1. Your co-worker
The new guy at work is more than the star of the sales team: he’s also the star of your not-so-innocent NSFW dreams lately. But that’s where he should stay. Turning those dreams into reality can put your reputation at the office, and possibly even your career, at risk. A hot quickie in the copy room isn’t worth losing your job.
2. Your ex
It’s always tempting to sleep with your ex because you and him share something special. You already know his turn ons and you’re perfectly comfortable falling asleep cuddling afterwards. Sounds pretty great in theory right? Except in real life, it’s bound to be messy. Because you have a history, emotions will be involved, and it will be very hard (if not impossible) to treat your night together as a casual fling. Inevitably someone will get hurt. Just delete his number, de-friend him, and move on.
3. Your friend’s boyfriend (or her ex boyfriend)
This really should go without saying. Don’t break girl code. And definitely don’t be a home wrecker. If you REALLY are interested in a friend’s ex and you also value your friendship, you absolutely must (and I can’t stress that enough) ask her permission first. Remember, chicks before dicks.
4. The hot guy at the gym
With all those endorphins pumping through your blood while you’re on the elliptical, it’s hard not to develop a bit of a crush on the guy lifting weights behind you. Sometimes gym flings can turn into something more but if it doesn’t work out, you’re going to have to change your workout schedule to avoid passing him at the water fountain or just be prepared to deal with awkward eye contact every single day.
5. Your best friend
There comes a time in every boy-girl friendship where someone wonders if the two of you could be something more, if your friendship could turn into a relationship. While this can be exciting and incredible and everything Taylor Swift love songs are made of, it is also very risky. Sleeping with your best friend means the two of you will never be the same. And if there’s hot chemistry and you both decide to pursue it further, you’re entering dangerous territory. Because if you ever breakup, you could lose not only your boyfriend but also your best friend.
We all know sex complicates relationships, sometimes for the good but in the cases above, more often for the bad. So before you invite him back to your place or push send on that sext, make sure you know what you’re getting into. While it feels right in the moment, the potential consequences may not be worth the temporary pleasure. Take it from someone who’s been there and done that (literally).
Featured image via screen grab from Friends With Benefits.
