The other day I wore a really cute dress I had just bought to go visit my friend, and she was shocked beyond all belief to see that the dress had pockets. Now, you might be thinking, “Well this is stupid, don’t all clothes have pockets?” Ladies and gentlemen of the world, there’s something really important that I would like to address with you immediately: fake pants pockets.
In case you aren’t aware of this phenomenon, let me fill you in. Ever since jeggings (jean leggings) came into the mix of fashion, pockets have become nonexistent on many women’s clothing, namely our jeans.
Is it “trendy” to not have anywhere to put my THINGS? I must’ve missed that memo. Do you just assume because I’m a woman who I have a purse in which to place my phone? For some reason, we have butt pockets though. It’s like clothing companies assume I want to put my phone there (instead of a front pocket) where my giant ass could potentially crush it. I would like it if there were two medium-sized holes on the front of my jeans where I can safely put my keys or phone.
I don’t understand at what point in time someone thought it’d be okay to suddenly take pockets away from us and just create pants with sewn-on pockets that don’t open. What good is a pocket that looks like it’s existent but actually isn’t? Some jeans don’t even have the fake sewn on pockets, they just have nothing on the front. It’s like they’re not even trying at all.
Now, you’re probably wondering why this concept makes me (and many other women) so heated, you’re probably thinking, “What’s the big deal? They’re just pockets.” Well, I’m going to tell you what the big deal is: trust issues. You know those trust-fall exercises that you’ve probably done in gym class at one point or another? That’s what it’s like with my pockets when they’re non-existent. Being occasionally forgetful, I’ll sometimes attempt to slip my phone into the front of my pocket without looking. By the time I realize there isn’t a hole there, it’s too late, and my phone drops to the ground. Fake pant pockets have not only resulted in lack of space to put my belongings, but also have become one of the main reasons I lose or break them all.
Someone needs to start the pants pocket equality movement, because if we don’t start now, all women’s pants will be pocketless, maybe even men’s too. It’ll be anarchy. All of my pants had pockets when I was younger, but now I’m deprived of such useful space for my mundane accessories. I think I speak on behalf of ALL women when I say, “BRING BACK OUR GODDAMN POCKETS”.
Dear fake pockets: be real with me, please stop pretending to be something you’re not. Sincerely, one frustrated girl out of many.
Featured Image via Unsplash
