My skin has not always been kind to me.
I suffered from acne throughout high school, college, and even post-grad life. When does hormonal breaking out stop and adult acne begin? I never caught a break between the two. I tried more over the counter face washes than I can count, Proactiv, prescription creams and medication, going gluten-free, dairy free, and even paleo.
For years, nothing worked resulting in major insecurity with my skin. I tried numerous brands of make-up with the hopes of finding the one that will hide all my flaws and pores. While I do not wear much eye makeup, I rarely leave the house without makeup covering my skin. In January, I completely changed my skin routine and began using a Clarisonic microdermabrasion brush and a highly recommended face wash from Kiehl’s. Five months later, my skin is the best it has been since puberty. While I rarely break out these days, marks and scars tell a different story.
About a month ago, I felt fed up. I did not want to feel the need to “put on my face” each time I left the house. I was frustrated with the insecurity I felt each time I didn’t have on foundation. I was sick of avoiding eye contact and doing whatever I could to detract attention from myself.
My skin was finally clear so why was I still trying to hide?
Enough was enough! Could I completely cut makeup out of my life? I was stoked about the possibility of sleeping in a little later but unsure how it would affect the remaining ten hours of my day.
A majority of my hesitation was focused on my job. Would it be considered unprofessional? Could I get into trouble? Would my coworkers assume I had given up? But on day one, no one said anything. A month later, still no one has said a thing.
I had gotten so used to always having foundation on, I assumed I looked like a completely different girl when not wearing any. When looking in the mirror my first barefaced days, I realized that foundation does not make that much of a difference. Yes, I could see the marks foundation usually hides. But to my surprise, they did not bother me as much as they used to.
Three weeks in, I had my monthly waxing appointment. This was one of the first times I had ever been complimented on my skin. Not wearing foundation allowed my skin to breathe and heal.
Let me be clear, makeup is not a bad thing. Some of my favorite memories include my mom and I sharing a mirror and counter space as we got ready for work and school in the mornings. I also love how I feel after getting ready for a night out or date. Makeup gives us confidence, helps us express ourselves, and is outright fun. My desire to go barefaced was because my makeup usage stemmed from a lack of confidence, a fear to express myself, and because I thought I needed it. Now, I no longer see makeup as a necessity and for the first time in years, feel confident when nothing is on my skin.
We are more critical of ourselves than others are of us. Going barefaced allowed me to notice characteristics I never had. I think my use of makeup caused me to just focus on the things I wanted to hide, and not the features that make me unique. Going barefaced has given me the confidence to express myself in the most important way: to just be me.
Featured image via cottonbro on Pexels
