Post Vacation Blues: 19 Thoughts You Have Going Back To Work

Sep 13, 2016

We have all been there – the moment tears begin to form in your eyes, your chest grows tight, and you feel your nerves start to get the best of you. You may even be screaming as your body becomes heavy and overcome with emotion. It is the moment that you thought you were prepared for, but didn’t think it would actually come. Vacation is over. It is back to reality.

You finally had some free time to yourself and you got away from it all. No responsibilities, worries, or bartenders cutting you off could stop you from having a good time on vacation! But now it is back to the life you had escaped from. Rush hour traffic, lazy coworkers, endless bills, and worst of all, the thought of having to put on pants again because for some reason it is still not “acceptable” to be pant-less in public.

This realization is what I like to call Post-Vacation Panxiedepress Disorder (Sidenote – This disorder will NOT be found on WebMD.) This is when you have a combination of panic attacks, anxiety, and a small bout of depression. Hallucinations may occur. You may think you can retire at the ripe age of 29, legitimately become a beach bum, or even consider joining a landscaping business just so you can stay away longer instead of going back.

For those of you that have left the land of vacation and seemlessly gone back to work, bless your souls for making it out alive. You are a lucky individual if you have never experienced Post-Vacation Panxiedepress Disorder, because it is NOT pretty. What you are about to read is my experience this past week with Post Vacation Panxiepress Disorder – I am still a work in progress, but I am slowly coming down from my beach high. SLOWLY.

Here are some of the sad, twisted, absurd thoughts that you can have when you come back from vacation:

ADULTING SUCKS.
Where is my purse?! Did I leave it at the beach?! No, I had to have packed it; it was in the car on the way home. Now I can’t find it. I am going to be late for work. WHY AM I CRYING?! Found it. In the fridge.
I really didn’t need ten bags of specialty pickle popcorn. Why did I spend so much on this?! I am now poor and I have to go back to work.
But do I really have to have to go back to work? I can knit my own clothes, grow some fruits and vegetables in the backyard and live with my parents forever… Anything but back to work!
I like Pumpkin Spice Lattes too much to be a poor beach bum. Must go back to work.
What is this annoying sound filling my room? I have forgotten what the sound of my alarm clock is like. WORST. SOUND. EVER.
No coffee today. I didn’t drink coffee on vacation – I did yoga instead. I am now zen with nature and my body. My life is better without that extra caffeine. Namaste.
OH FRESH HELL WHAT IS THIS HEADACHE?! Going to fall asleep at my desk. NEED COFFEE NOW!
I wonder what the dolphins are doing at the beach without me right now. Are they jumping around and waiting for me to take their picture like I always did? NO. FOCUS. You have been at your desk for two minutes and haven’t even turned on your computer. FOCUS.
Maybe I can transfer to an office by the beach! Work a little, beach a little!
MORE COFFEE. Beginning to think I need a coffee IV.
Maybe I can be a successful painter of beach scenes, make macrame shoes, or someone at the beach will accept me to be their pool girl? Options!
An hour has passed. ONLY AN HOUR.
Would anyone notice if I just nap at my desk? Missing vacation is exhausting.
If I get a 2% raise every year, that means I only have to work here the next 32.5 years before I can retire and buy a beach house. I am going to grow old at my desk.
Screw love, I am going to marry for money. Who says money can’t buy you happiness? A million puppies and a beach house sounds like happiness to me!
Forget that. I can never be a playmate to Hugh Hefner or wear bunny ears. Work hard so you can play harder. FOCUS!
It’s not the same when you say it is 5 o’clock somewhere from your desk with no margarita in hand. Also, pretending your hot tea is a margarita is not the same.
Made it through day one! Now to go home, watch the Travel Channel with my copious amount of pickle popcorn and figure out where to go to next!

I know it is a long and difficult road to come back to reality after vacation, but don’t worry, we can get through this together. Locate some tissues, a stuffed animal and just let it all out. One day you will be going on vacation again. Until that day comes, work hard and save up for your next big adventure! Try not to daydream your work day away too much, but dream big! The vacation sky is the limit!