Ladies and gents, welcome to the 21st century: where adolescents and pre-pubescent teenagers are influenced to grow up heavily dependent on so many aspects of media. We grew up in an age of accessible social media, endless information through the convenience of search engines, and of course, easy access to pornography. What a time to be alive.
Now it’s no secret that the sex drives of a large portion of our generation have become dependent on porn. Need a quick fix? The internet is in the palm of your hand. But when does this become a problem? Does it set unrealistic standards for normal consensual sex? More so, how does it fit into a committed relationship? Does it go beyond the boundaries of what is considered loyal? I asked a handful of women their thoughts on someone watching porn while in a serious, committed relationship. Here are their stories.
*Cue Law and Order music*
“I think it’s totally normal and healthy for a guy to watch porn MODERATELY. Guys are super horny beings, and it’s better for him to do that than be annoyed you’re not having sex with him every second of every day.”
“I view porn as cheating. He’s looking at another woman for sexual gratification. It’s like, if a woman was naked in front of him in real life, and even if he didn’t touch her but he was still getting off to her, that would be cheating to me.”
“Personally, I don’t care. There’s nothing wrong with learning some new moves either. It beats the hell out of them going to find sex somewhere else.”
“I think it’s totally fine if a guy watches porn in a relationship, as long as it’s not all the time. It’s fine if at the end of the day they still would rather have sex with you and be present during sex, and not have their mind wander to the last porn they saw.”
“I’ve watched porn with an ex to see what kinds of things he wouldn’t mind trying. Porn doesn’t always have to be a negative thing. Some girls are so against their man being turned on by another woman, but that doesn’t bother me. I think it can bring up a great discussion between a sexual couple.”
“I don’t think it’s right. I don’t think it’s cheating, but I also don’t think it’s right.”
“It’s sometimes fun if you’re both into it and watch it together.”
“The reality is that guys are going to watch porn. I think that most guys would feel a little jealous if they found out their girlfriends were getting off to pictures/videos of other guys d*cks… I know it’s normal but I’d rather just not know about it.”
“I don’t have a problem with it, but I’m also not the jealous type. I know my boyfriend thinks other girls are hot, just like I think other guys are hot; but neither of us want to sleep with those other people. I know we’re both happy in our relationship and completely in love, so I don’t care if he wants to watch porn.”
“I don’t think I’d start fights over it, but I also don’t think I’m okay with it. Even if we are just dating I don’t think I’m okay with my boyfriend getting off to other naked girls. I probably wouldn’t ask but if it came up I’d probably ask him to stop.”
“I think it really depends on the people in the relationship – it’s about personal values.”
“When my boyfriend and I first started dating, his browser history was full of porn. Like really weird sh*t too. I think it’s fine up until a point. Like if you’d rather watch porn than actually be with your SO, then that’s an issue.”
With the mixed reviews, I think it’s safe to say that this resolution is completely dependent on your moral values and personal opinions. If you find yourself in a situation where you know your SO is watching porn, and you’re not sure how you feel about it, I think we can at least conclude that it’s VERY normal. So no, your SO is not bored with you or your sex life. However, if you find it unnerving and it makes you uncomfortable, you totally have a right to bring up this discussion and voice your concerns, because they aren’t unwarranted! But remember, girls can and do watch porn, sometimes just as much as men! And men can be just as unnerved about their SO watching porn as us women can be. So keep in mind that these values go two ways, and don’t be a hypocrite. Only expect from your SO what you’re willing to do for them!
Featured image via screengrab of American Pie
My fiance watches porn every morning while I’m sleeping. I always look at his phone browser history everyday and it always has “X Videos” in it. I guess I can understand it though since most men wake up horny, I’ve never been a morning person and I’m also not a fan of sex as soon as I wake up either. I asked him why he watches porn, and he claims he uses it as a tool for whrn I am either sleeping, or he’s horny but is feeling too drained to have actual sex. He also seems to watch it while I am giving him blow jobs, but quickly turns his phone off when I come into his phone screen view. I have yet to ask him why he was watching it during the bj. For the most part I am pretty passive on it because at least he isn’t going on Tinder or any dating apps to find sex elsewhere.
When* sorry for any typoes
Smh
Omgggggg same my boyfriend literally watches porn behind my back while I’m blowing him off. I don’t have a problem with porn but when ur literally doing it behind my back And act like nothing wrong I feel weird idk.
Nikki, he has a porn addiction. He needs to realize his problem.
My boyfriend of two years watches porn and jerks off behind my back. It posses me off to no end and we have had countless fights. This insecurity started when we first met and it was about 4 months into the relationship and I saw that he was following his favorite pornstar on Instagram. I went on Instagram and on her page and saw dozens of comments from him to her admiring her beauty and listing for her. I thought to myself how unfaithful that really is in reality. Ever since then I have been obsessed with his masturbation habits. Occasional masterbation is normal but when you bring those porn girls into your private life it’s cheating.
I am 19 years old my Bf is 28 & he totally Always says he is to tired to have sex & I’m young so my sexy drive is high he is old lol so his is not but he what he’s porn & I find it in his phone I totally start beating his ass & Start crying about it but People say as long as he is not cheating physically than I should have nothing to worry about.but it hurts because I feel like he wants something else he tho he is not a cheater that still hurts me.But What should I do how should I go about this.