Being cheated on can change a person; I know it definitely changed and challenged me. In some ways, I’m grateful for the way it forced me to rebuild myself as a person who is so much stronger now. You can gain a whole new appreciation for the people that are in your life. Despite some of the benefits, I wouldn’t wish being cheated on, on my worst enemy. Whatever feelings you have, those are okay. I’m not going to tell you that there is a universal way to feel after having your trust break into tiny pieces all around you.
You may find that you blame yourself. Maybe you could have done some things differently, possibly saving the relationship. Eventually, you will understand that the relationship was over the moment they cheated. You realize that it wasn’t you, and that’s a phrase you may need to repeat daily. It is so much easier to blame yourself, at least then you have a reason why it happened. You will lose sleep thinking maybe it wasn’t you, but it had to have been right? I mean, why else would someone destroy your trust unless you gave them even the slightest reason to?
You may try isolating yourself from people in an attempt to make sure that pain is never felt again. Or you might try losing yourself in as many people as possible who show you the slightest bit of affection. Perhaps you do both of these things. The problem with these two extremes is that you’re alone in both. You may not feel alone when you are with someone else, but once you gather your clothes from the floor, you’re completely by yourself.
The thought that you are not good enough will creep into your mind more than you probably want to admit. You may be lucky enough to find someone that truly appreciates you. However, the first sign of an actual relationship may cause you to look for any excuse to end it. Eventually, you will get to a point where you understand that not everyone will hurt you.
There will be moments when you don’t think about being cheated on, but then a song will come on. Maybe the song you belted out in your car with them, or you’ll be eating fries thinking about that one time at McDonald’s they made you laugh like you never had before. You grab a cup of coffee and remember how they liked three sugars and one cream.
You will probably wonder if they are thinking about you, regretting the moment they decided you weren’t worth the commitment. Try not to check up on them. If you do, you will probably come across a photo of them smiling or continuing on with their life. Unfortunately, their world did not stop turning the moment you left. That will hurt a lot, but remember that your world didn’t stop either. Look at you, continuing day to day, even breaking out a smile once and awhile.
From someone who has been cheated on, lost faith in humanity, and been where you have, I assure you it gets easier. It’s something that sticks with you, but it does not define you. You are not the person who got cheated on, you are living proof that you are able to overcome something that shakes you to your core.
At the end of the day, you could not have changed what happened. You don’t control other people, but instead, they make their own decisions. Whether you feel the need to blame yourself, distract yourself with friends, or be on your own for a bit, that is okay. You do what you need to in order to move past the heartache that you feel. That pain will not be as heavy as it is now. It is not your fault. Repeat this as many times as needed.
Featured image via Nathan Martins on Pexels
