An unfortunate realization in life is that we are all human. We will make mistakes. We will sometimes be selfish. We will act before we think. With that, we can fall back into our old patterns no matter how hard we try to be different and no matter at whose expense. That is another unfortunate part of life; we will all relapse into our old ways.
Whether it be with drugs, alcohol, relationships, shopping, sex, we all have addictions that we are trying to overcome. Sometimes it has to be brought to our attention by someone around us, seeing the damage that we are causing. Other times, it is us falling so far deep that we realize we are in way over our heads and we need help. It is in those moments that we realize that we are not invincible. It is in those moments that we recognize our mistakes. It is in these moments of clarity that we refocus our lives and prioritize what matters most.
Relapsing. Giving in. Not challenging yourself. Giving up. Accepting that this moment is good enough. Accepting that we will never change. Accepting defeat.
Relapsing is the easy way out.
Hanging on to this new way of life. Challenging ourselves each and every single day. Holding out on the one thing that you could want most. The recovery is the difficult part. It is said that it takes 21 days to break a habit, but when it comes to an addiction, it can be an everyday process to say ‘no’.
There will always be something there tempting us to go back to these old ways. There will always be that voice in the back of your head telling you to just give up and give in. There will always be a part of you telling you that you can not do this. That you are not strong enough. That there is no point to fight it. That life would be so much easier if you just let yourself have it this one time. It always about that one more time. That one last fix.
But it is in those moments that when we fight it, we find the person that we need to become. The moments that we give ourselves the satisfaction of knowing today was another day that not only did we survive, we thrived. We didn’t give into the darkness. We didn’t give into the negative. We didn’t give into the addiction that is raging inside of us, fighting for its way back into our view. We saw the light and kept fighting for the thing that we need most – a future. It is in the moments that we say ‘no’ to our addiction that we live.
It is okay to fall back to who you used to be, but don’t stay there for long. It is okay to make mistakes, but don’t let them take over who you are now. It is okay to dwell on the past, but remember that the present is who you are not and the future is what you are working towards. It is okay to not be happy with the person you used to be, but don’t let it damage the person you want to become.
You will always want to go back there. Want to revisit those times when you thought life was better, but the best is yet to come. You will always think that you will be strong enough to handle a fix, but it will challenge your future even more. You will always believe that you don’t deserve what you have now because of your past, but you have worked too hard to let yourself to become better, and with that, you deserve nothing but a beautiful present. We will have those negative thoughts, but will also fight. It is in the moments that we get up and rise from our mistakes that make us who we actually are.
Featured image via Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash
