What Happens When You Let Go Of The One You Let Back In

It’s people like you that make it hard for me to believe that there is genuine good in the world.

People with no ulterior motives, just sincerity. People who make you smile because their positive energy is simply contagious. People who are honest with you for the sake of it. But then there’s people like you, that exist. People who are cold, thoughtless, spiteful, inconsiderate and selfish.

I can’t believe a person like you exists.

I’ve never quite come across anyone so complex and with some much baggage, completely full of lies and excuses; it’s hard to fathom really. I desperately wanted to believe you the second time around. Because everyone deserves a second chance, right? We’re imperfect beings. Mistakes are inevitable. But that doesn’t apply to you. There are no lessons learned from any of your mistakes. There’s only deceit, betrayal, and selfishness in your world. What’s that like?

Before I met you, I believed in good. I believed in flaws too, but I believed most people meant well. And wanted to be good. And that their hearts were always in the right place. And that even though those people make mistakes, they’re still worth giving a second chance.

I was realistic, because we’re all a product of a messy society. We are what we see. We are what we learn. We are what we experience. We are our actions. But we have to draw the line somewhere. Even though we see things being done, doesn’t mean we should follow that path. But you are on an entirely different level than the rest of us, aren’t you?

I wanted to believe that you and I were one of the same; just people making mistakes and learning as we go. Maybe your mistakes equaled a number much higher than mine, but it didn’t mean you were any less of a person. Now I can see what I didn’t want to pay attention to the first time around. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice… I guess I had it coming.

So this is for you. I didn’t have to stick around too long before your true colours manifested through your fake exterior. Yet again. As dazed and confused as I am, I still can’t help but feel sorry for you. Not for lying or being selfish, but because at the end of the day, that’s all you are.

Most people go through experiences in life and try their best to grow from them, to take the high road, to move on, to use that experience and make a better person out of themselves. But you keep turning to your old habits. You turn to familiar. You turn to comfort. You keep doing the same thing over and over and keep hoping for different results. That’s the definition of insanity. So at the end of the day, all I can feel is sorry for you. I pity you. And you make it easy. 

I can move on and watch from afar now. Watch you stay exactly where you are, with no hope of going forward because you like being stuck. With the same people, the same girls, the same mess, the same chaos. There’s no accountability with you. And that’s saddening for me to watch. Mainly because I thought I knew you. More so because as time goes on, I had hoped you’d move on with it. I thought I saw past your rough exterior. For a second you made me believe there was a real person under all your lies and insecurities. But this is it, isn’t it? This is you. Take it or leave it?

It’s people like you that exist in our world today, that make me wonder how you sleep at night. It’s people like you that make me wonder what provokes you to treat people the way you do. I wonder if you’ll ever find someone stupid enough to believe a word that comes out of your mouth. For you to find someone who will believe your lies long enough to marry you. I wonder how you’ll end up. And all at the same time, you had given me too many reasons not to care.

It’s people like you that make it hard for me to believe that there is genuine good in the world.

Featured image via EVG Culture on Pexels