I think my biggest problem with starting a relationship is that I feel the need to earn the other person’s love.
I feel like I need to do something extra to get the other person’s attention and make him consider me better than any other option that is out there. And I think I’m not the only one who thinks this way. I always believed that I had to constantly apply too much effort in order for my relationships to work. I know that this is a problem because no relationship requires constant repairs that would become soon just become exhausting. If you are with someone, they should love you and care for you no matter what. That is called unconditional love. This is the type of love that every mother has for her baby. She just loves them, no matter what happens.
The problem is I never understood what unconditional love really meant. Unintentionally, I think my parents never explained the meaning to me, or I never grasped it myself. To me, love was something that I had to earn. I thought that I had to be a good child in order for my parents to be proud of me. I never realized that when you care for someone, there should never be a reason for that. And I will make sure to pass down this lesson to my future children, because it’s one of the most important ones that I could teach them. I will make sure that their future father and I will make them understand that they should never earn the love that they already deserve. Unconditional love is not something that can be fought for or manipulated; it is just there no matter what.
I feel like this is a rather common problem for some girls. They keep questioning why a guy doesn’t love them, even though they tried their best to make him fall in love with them. In reality there is no real reason as to why someone doesn’t love you. The feelings are either there, and they are unconditional, or they will never be there. And there is nothing wrong with that. No one should feel like a failure or feel like they are not worthy of someone’s love. Unrequited love happens, it’s common, but it’s not because the person who cares too much does not deserve to be loved or that there is a problem with them.
I will definitely make it my mission to teach my children what unconditional love means. They will not feel like they have to battle or struggle in order to be with someone who is not giving them what they deserve. This is one of the most important lessons to teach your kids in order for them to learn to love themselves. And everyone knows that you have to start from within before you can love someone else in return.
The next time something doesn’t work out or someone is not giving you the love that you deserve, don’t take it personally. You should always strive to find someone who will love you unconditionally. Your past, your mistakes, and your insecurities shouldn’t matter to them. The right person will love you for who you are, no questions asked. Not everyone is lucky enough to experience that from an early age; this is where a lot of insecurities come from that we have to battle with throughout our lives. And sometimes it feels like unconditional love doesn’t exist at all when you have never experienced it. I will make sure that as a parent my future kids will know that unconditional love really does exist. I will teach them that it is the only kind of love that should be strived for.
Featured image via Richard Jaimes on Unsplash
