Not knowing what men want can be frustrating when you are a woman. How are we supposed to know what they like or dislike? How do we make ourselves desirable? I thought it would be interesting to find out what it is that men look for when thinking about approaching women, and so that is exactly what I did. I decided to interview several respectable men and I had them tell me one quality that they find attractive about women. Here are the qualities that they said they look for in women:
1. No makeup
This man said that they didn’t like a girl wearing makeup because they like when a girl can be her most natural self. This way the girl doesn’t look fake or as if they are trying to be someone else.
2. Ability to know her worth
This man claimed that a redeeming quality for him was when a girl can be happy with herself and who she is. He also said he likes when a girl can be happy without needing a boyfriend or husband to complete her.
3. Appetite
Some women can be really self-conscious about what they eat in front of other people, so they won’t eat at all. Truth be told, some men like girls who actually have an appetite! So don’t be afraid to eat a Big Mac!
4. Sense of Humour
Sometimes girls need to know that it’s okay for them to act silly. Also, they don’t have to pretend that something isn’t funny when they truly want to laugh. Laugh away ladies!
5. Intellect and knowledge
This man described to me how he likes girls who read. He explained that he believes girls who read show more intellect and knowledge because they go beyond what they see on television or their computer.
6. Being able to keep a conversation
Sometimes men find that when they are speaking to girls, girls give short answers which makes it difficult to continue talking. He enjoys girls who are able to communicate their thoughts and ideas, even when your ideas don’t match. Then, the male and female can demonstrate patience by working through disagreements, and patience is an attractive quality too.
7. Owning up to your flaws
Some girls feel the need to hide their flaws from men because they are scared that it will turn men away. Certain men actually like a girl’s flaws because it shows that women can accept themselves for who they are.
8. Going after their goals
One man that I interviewed said that he likes when a girl sees something that she wants, and takes the necessary steps to achieve it. If you want something in life, it can be very attractive when a girl works hard to get it!
9. When girls can ask guys out
Sometimes women have the belief that men have to always ask them out. Although this is a traditional way of thinking, we live in a modern society where equality is liberating. Girls, it’s okay to ask guys out too. In fact, they like it when you do.
10. Splitting the bill, or grabbing it
By this, the interviewee doesn’t mean that he wants girls to pay for their meals. He just enjoys when girls offer to split the bill or grab it, even though he wouldn’t let them pay.
11. Independence
Some men like when girls can survive on their own, and aren’t completely needy, but that they still come and ask for advice when they need it.
It was really interesting to see the men’s perspectives, but I thought it would be even more interesting to compare their answers with what women think they need to do to attract men. Therefore, I decided to interview several women and asked them what they feel like they need to act like in order to attract men. A lot of girls had the same response:
1. Appearance
Some women felt as though they need to dress nicely, be fit, and basically be physically attractive to a man. Another woman answered with appearance as well, and she specifically stated that she feels as though she needs to have breasts and a big ass to show off, and wear minimal makeup. One girl even said she feels as though you need to be blessed with good looks, clear skin, and a skinny body. Others said that they need to be athletic, so have a fit body. Another woman said that she felt like her weight has always held her back, and this is a girl that I find beautiful, and not big by any means, but she feels as though a smaller figure would make her more dainty and graceful. Even after experiencing intimate relationships with men, she feels as though she needs to be thinner.
2. Self-confidence
A lot of women gave me this same answer. Many of the girls that I interviewed felt as though they need to show a man that they are comfortable with themselves; however, some girls said that they act confident, even though they truly don’t feel that way about themselves.
3. Not be snobby
“Because no one likes that.”
4. Act passive
More than one girl said this to me. One claimed that she feels like she needs to let him be in control, and pretend to like the same things he does. Another said that she needs to be more passive by not talking as much. She said, “I feel like I have to be more passive, and that is the opposite of what I am.”
5. Interesting personality
Some girls feel like they need to have an interesting personality. They fear that they will be too boring for a man.
6. Fun
Some girls said that they feel like they need to be the fun, outgoing, typical “cool girl.” They feel as though they need to be adventurous and extroverted. A lot of girls who are more introverted feel as though they aren’t good enough for a man because they feel like men are typically attracted to the popular, extroverted girl.
7. Dominance
This girl felt like she needs to assert dominance, but only in a playful way. So, not to actually act as if she is dominant over a man, only to joke that she is.
Overall, it is extremely interesting to see the comparison between what men desire from women, and what women believe they need in order to attract a man’s attention. Girls, take a good hard look at the list of what men find attractive because you are probably all of those things without even realizing it. Sometimes, men do care about more than your appearance.
Featured image via Romane Van Troost on Unsplash
