In today’s society, we are surrounded by people who believe finding a life long partner is the number one goal. I can’t help but laugh when people come up to me and are shocked to hear I am not looking for anyone. No one to spend the rest of my life with. It has always amazed me; watching people go through partners like there’s no tomorrow, as they need to find their soulmate in a hurry. When in reality most people don’t even know what to look for.
A lot of people will rely on others to create happiness in their life and that tends to be one of the main problems in today’s society. We don’t even know who we truly are until we get older and acknowledge life. So why do people go through many different partners in life, so often? I believe they do not know what to look for.
I was blessed to have grown up so early that I realized the only person who can make me happy right now is me, myself and I. You see, I don’t have a career finalized, I don’t have a place that I want to call home for the rest of my life, I don’t even know what next week looks like for me. So in my perspective, I think being alone allows for me to do the things I want to do and not let anyone get in the way. Because I tend to change for people and, that I feel, is my worst quality; so until I know how to fix that, I am going to be my own source of happiness.
The last time I personally tried to prove my own theory wrong, I will admit I started thinking my theory was dumb… but then one day my dreams and desires changed but my significant others did not and it was hard to choose which lifestyle I wanted to live. I became adventurous and grew further apart from him. So once and for all, I told myself that it was enough. I wanted to feel good about the things I was accomplishing and not regretting who it changed me to be.
Now I believe my theory more than ever because I took a jump in a direction that could potentially better my growth and it definitely did. I am now happy, I have support, my own place, I am learning more about myself than I ever knew before, and I feel just very well rounded.
Like everyone else I want and deserve to one day feel loved but I decide to wait until I am comfortable with myself and can share my passions and accomplishments to those who will believe in me, be proud of me and be there to make memories with.
Knowing myself before I allow someone else the opportunity to know me, makes me feel empowered and happy, I recommend anyone to give it a try because time heals all wounds and once you better yourself you will see a drastic change in the way you live your life.
I tend to give a lot of life advice and I always ask the people this same question: “How do you expect someone to truly understand and love every aspect of you before you even understand and love every aspect of yourself.” and it blows people away. No one truly thinks about life this way and not a whole lot of people know exactly who they are or what they want. I explain to each and every person that I live each day bettering myself and I will until one day be comfortable sharing me with the world. I focus on becoming the best possible version of myself that I can be. So one day I’ll feel the love from not a only a stranger but a lover and most importantly myself.
Featured image via Alex Alvarez on Unsplash
I think that is wonderful advice Ashlyn! I’m really enjoying reading your articles!