Writing out what you’re feeling can be a cathartic experience when you’re hurting. I think that this is the reason why so many people have such emotional conversations through text messaging. It’s easier to sit and think about what you’re feeling, write down the words, and edit them before clicking send. But, what happens to the texts that never get sent? The ones that sit in your drafts? The ones you were too afraid to send because the reply could destroy you? Here are all the texts that myself, and my friends, never sent.
12:04 AM
Are you doing okay? Somebody asked me about you today. I lied and said you were fine even though I don’t know if that’s true or not. I hope you’re okay.
3:40 AM
Everybody tells me that I should stop talking to you. They tell me that I deserve better and to let go and move on. But they don’t know the love that we have. I know what I deserve but I also know that a love like ours only comes once. I see a future with you, I dream of a future with you. I love you more than anything and anyone. You’re my best friend and lover. These people who tell me to let go don’t know about the nights we’ve spent together. They haven’t read the words or felt the emotion. They don’t know anything about us except for the very little that we have shared. I love you. I want you. I will do anything to ensure that this works even when you’re pushing me away so hard. I know that together we can conquer anything and I refuse to believe that something like this will tear us apart. I love you.
7:08 AM
I hate you. I hate you for doing this to me and making me feel like I don’t deserve to be loved. I hate you for all the bad. ALL THE BAD. There was only a little bit of bad but damn that bad was so heartbreaking. I want you, all of you, forever. Will this feeling ever fade? Do you know how to answer these questions? I’ve already deleted this five times.
8:22 AM
I know you’re mad at me for not checking in. I know it seems like I don’t care about what’s going on in your life. I know you hate that you can see me post on social media but still haven’t received a text from me saying that I care. I do care. I do know you’re struggling. But I’ve been selfish and only worried about my problems and myself. I know you think I don’t care, but I do.
9:07 AM
Do you honestly believe that he is telling the truth? Do you think that he loves you? I don’t. None of us do. Love doesn’t tell you who you should be. Love doesn’t call you names or give you permission. He lies and he takes and takes and takes. You give and give and give. When will you stop letting him take everything from you?
9:27 AM
It feels like you’re trying your best to push me away so that you can forget about me. It hurts. It hurts from the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep. I don’t know how not to think about you. I can’t control myself from texting you, even though I know I shouldn’t. I crave your attention and your touch. I don’t know how I’m supposed to move on and not love you anymore.
10:02 AM
Hey, this really good thing just happened to me and I’m so happy but the first person I wanted to share my happiness with was you. I want to tell you how happy I am and have you say you’re proud of me but we’re not talking right now.
1:00 PM
I know you’re only texting me because you saw that I’ve deleted all the pictures of him and I off my Instagram. I know you’re only texting me because you think that maybe you can use my loneliness as a means to get something. You’re only texting me because you’re lonely yourself. I know you’re only texting me because you think that just because I’m newly single I want your attention. I don’t.
3:30 PM
I miss you. I wish I knew what you were doing right now. Are you thinking about me? Is there a chance that maybe you miss me too? I wish I could press send but I can’t and it’s killing me to know that you haven’t clicked send either.
4:26 PM
He’s cheating on you and everybody knows and I wish I could tell you but I can’t.
5:30 PM
How could you be so fucking clueless?
8:26 PM
It hurts me to know that I wasn’t worth fighting for. It hurts knowing that I can’t just text you when I want or call you baby. It hurts knowing that tonight I’m not spending the hours before bed snuggled up in your arms talking about anything and everything. I miss how you smell and the way your hands trace my body when we’re in your bed. I miss you and your laugh and the way you run your hands through your hair. I miss you.
8:28 PM
I’ve gone to text you about seven times tonight and have deleted every single message I’ve written out. I want my words to make you feel something. I want your reply to be full of love and hearts and romance like they once were a long time ago. But I know it won’t be. I know the romance is over and I won’t get any more hearts. Maybe that’s why I haven’t pressed send. I know your reply is going to be “I’m sorry.” I WANT MY WORDS TO MAKE YOU FEEL SOMETHING. Please. Send me something, anything that tells me that there’s still love there. Give me hope. I love you.
9:28 PM
Hey. I’m sorry I didn’t call you back. I wish you would stop texting and calling me. We aren’t friends anymore. I don’t want to be your friend anymore. I still wish you all the best but we will never be the same two people we were back then.
11:15 PM
I’m drunk and love you.
So, why didn’t you press send? Were you afraid of what the reply might be? I’ve felt that way. The words that we are too afraid to say will always haunt us. Maybe one of these texts sounds all too familiar to one you’ve never sent. It’s okay. You’ll be okay. Sometimes people don’t need to hear the words that we want to say. Sometimes silence is stronger than any word.
Continue writing your words. Save them. Remember them. You don’t need to press send for them to mean something.
Featured image via Jonathan Borba on Unsplash
well post
Wow
Everyone pushed him away from me.
Told him I was a liar and bad person.
he knows I wasn’t.
Listening to others who pushed him away from us.
Made up lies.
they were jealous.
for my most of my life I was miserable.
He never even really knew his child.
He always loved me!
scared of what others thought.
had all the wrong people in his life.
When deep down he knew, I was the only one he really ever loved.
Think of the pain they caused you.
The nights you missed that person.
Don’t let others dictate your life or relationships.
Stay away from controlling people.
Always do what’s in your heart.
Your heart will lead you to the right path.
Listen to your inner voice.
Go where you want to go.
Do what you want to do.
Be with a person who you truly love.
Who accepts you for you.
Who doesn’t try to control or change you.
Stay away from users, and losers.
Your happiness is more important.
People will always take advantage of what you have.
They lie, they steal, they turn you into something you never were.
Others are jealous of what you had, with a wonderful person.
Who would have made you happier than you’ll ever know.
You don’t have to live with your bad choices and decisions.
If you know you’re with the wrong person leave!
There are others that will love you, unconditionally.
Who won’t try to control you.
They will let you be who you want to be ,they will support your ideas and thoughts.
Don’t stay with someone who doesn’t make you feel happy, and loved.
Be with someone you see yourself growing old with.
If think that you’re with the wrong person.
Don’t stay, cos it seems easier,
Or that you won’t find someone better.
You deserve everything.
You will find your equal out there, the world is huge!
Be with a person that treats you like you want to be treated, who doesn’t take you for granted.
One day you’ll regret everything.
Others you hurt, or you pushed out of your life.
Always say you’re sorry, if you know you are wrong.
Don’t let others apologize for things they never did.
Don’t be with anyone who pushes your family away.
That person is selfish, they don’t love you.
They never have.
They don’t want you to be happy.
They just want to get what they want.
Forgoing your wants and needs.
If you’re always walking on eggshells because you’re afraid to say what you think.
Or be who who you want to be,
If they criticize your looks, try to mould you into someone you’re not.
They don’t love you.
They only want for themselves.
Leave while you still can.
Find the one who makes your heart skip a beat every time you see them.
They will want to listen to you, they ask you how you feel, not talk all about themselves, and put others down
They are there for you through bad days and good.
They support your ideas.
They aren’t fake.
It’s not all about them it’s about your happiness too.
A great relationship is 50-50.
They’re your best friend.
You look forward to waking up to them every day.
If you don’t have those things,
you’re wasting your time and life with the wrong person.
STOP!! Wake up!
Take a step back and visualize yourself without them.
Are you happier?
If not leave!
Don’t be lonely with someone who doesn’t love you as much as you love them.
Don’t be with someone who expects everything, who gives you so little in return.
Who controls everything.
You’re not a robot, you’re a person with your own thoughts and feelings.
Don’t let anyone take away your self worth, Dignity and happiness, your hopes and dreams.
Who thinks they’re better than you.
Who alienates you from your close friends and family.
They are wrong for you.
One day you’ll realize you wasted your time.
They will never change, but you can!
Don’t let them talk badly about others you care about.
They don’t Love you.
When is the last time you felt truly loved?
Be yourself, be the best version of yourself.
Love yourself.
Learn to say NO!
Don’t be with someone lazy, who doesn’t clean up or do anything for you.
You deserve so much more.
Especially if you’re paying for almost everything.
Love doesn’t hurt.
Love makes you feel wanted, loved and warm on the inside.
Love means never having to say you’re sorry.
I appreciate the effort put into researching and writing this. Well done!