I gave him everything I had; everything I was. I gave him my past, expecting to get a glimpse of his own. I gave him my present, expecting a hand to hold. And I gave him what I thought would be my future, but that was a poor fortune to be told. I didn’t know I would be left with nothing but dark skies and dreary eyes as you walked away with everything that was my own.
I gave you so much of my time; something you chose to take advantage of. Something you chose to take more of, even more so when you weren’t around. Something you were so selfish about because it wasn’t your own. I gave you my faith; something you chose to use and abuse. Something that you chose to make me question. Something that you chose to break because you always knew I would always give you another chance. I gave you my heart; something that you chose to break. Something that you didn’t mind leaving broken with the pieces scattered beyond repair. Something that you didn’t mind giving away because you thought there will always be another one.
I gave you everything because I thought you were always going to be around and it was going to break the mold. I thought that was what you needed, just a hand to hold. Someone who was going to be your rock and be there until the end. Someone that I could trust with so much knowledge of everything that was my own. I gave you everything because, in my eyes, I was ready for you to give me everything too. But it took me too long to see that I gave you everything of the person that I used to be.
So you can keep the stories. You can keep the countless kisses and hugs goodbye. You can keep the heartfelt words and longing glances. You can keep the thought out presents and the hand written letters.
I am okay without them now.
You can also keep the sleepless nights and the tearful fights. You can hold on to anything I may have left at your place or anything you see that I might like in the future. You can keep the memories and all your wasteful thoughts of me. I am okay with you keeping everything from the past, as long as the present and the future are mine.
I like the person I now find myself to be. I like the person that I am now, now that you are no longer by my side. I like the person that I have now become and this person that holds her head up high. This is the person that I have always wanted to be and I am thankful that you have helped in making this version of me. Keep the past and all that I used to hold dear, just as long as I get to hold on to the present and who I am now meant to be. That person, the one that belongs to me.
Featured image via Joshua Rawson-Harris on Unsplash
