Sometimes when it comes to a relationship, we are confused by the urge of wanting to have someone in our life versus the need for them to be there. Wanting someone is just an urge that sits down low and is a craving we can have pass, whereas needing someone never goes away. The want of having that someone will subside as soon as you give in to it, but that need for someone to be by your side will always linger, no matter if they are there or not. It is the want versus the need that always leaves some questioning.
For you, it is nice to have them around at your beck and call. It’s great to know that they are going to answer any time you text them or that they will come running whenever you would like, but you don’t necessarily need them by your side. It’s a good feeling to know that they are out there thinking about you and sitting at home waiting for your next move, but you don’t have to act on it. It’s such an ego boost of wanting someone who will always be around because you keep them on a short leash and don’t have to respond to them. It’s just that feeling of knowing that they are out there in the world, waiting on you.
And then there is needing someone. That feeling deep down that you really can’t get through the day without knowing how they are doing. The urge to let them know when something good has happened or to reach out just to see how her day is going. The instant reaction of a terrible moment and knowing that they are the one that you want to have as comfort. The drive to make it know that you are becoming a better person for them because you need them to know that you are changing for the better.
Everyone likes the passion, but the need is what keeps someone around. We like to know that someone has the desire and wants us, but it is the need to be with us that changes things. We are constantly looking for someone that is going to put us in a category that is more than just a weekend of lush or a phone call when they want something. We are looking for you to need something from us and for us to be able to need the same from you in return.
So before you let this go any further, do you want them or do you need them? Don’t toy with their emotions and make them think that you need them when all you’re doing is looking for some fun. Don’t make them think that your passion for them is something more than just a weekend fling or just to fill your urge. Don’t make them fall for something stronger than just the feeling of wanting someone by your side versus the need to be with that someone special.
Featured image via Valerie Elash on Unsplash
