The first time I heard he was with someone else, my heart sank. I broke down and was completely shattered, I had no idea what to do. I still loved him, and he was out there spending time with other girls. How does one react to that? I thought distancing myself would do the trick, I tried deleting social media, I tried being bitchy to him but I still thought about him and always needed to know why, why was he always in my head? Once I heard he was with the newest girl I reacted differently; I was angry but then happy. It was like my head was saying one thing but my heart was saying the opposite. But still, how do you get over that? How does that pass? It doesn’t, but you can help prevent it with these few tips.
The love and experience you have for one another doesn’t just drop off like you two do, it hovers around and waits for something bigger and better comes to replace it. For me, I took the time to work on myself and I can say I am a happy person, but like everyone else, I have bad days. I have the daily thoughts, I have the ifs, ands, and buts but once you try to become civil or try to clear the air not once, but three times, the message is clear. So when you try and be kind – do it but don’t make a fool out of yourself because of it, that makes it even worse.
I had to use texting as I was far away and too afraid to pick up the phone to dial a number, that was my first mistake. If you are going to clear the air try to do it face to face, or at least using your own voices so you can understand their own feelings instead of just words on the screens- as we all know texting gets misinterpreted.
When there is no closure your head spins and even though you do not want to be back together you still wish for that goodbye, that final moment. If you are able, make sure there is closure and that you do it properly. Don’t go away hating each other; be civil, kind and mature about everything. You did spend almost all your time with this one person for the past how over many months… you do know them very well, so be kind.
Another one of my mistakes that I hope you all can learn from is giving multiple different chances. I tried three different times to get my point across and each time I had no response, I know that I deserve at least that. It is okay to get angry about the unanswered messages but sometimes you have to look past it and just give up. If he can not take the time to send a message back, he isn’t even worth your time. Just be okay with no answer and move on. Just live your life, stop relying on him to fulfill it. Plus when you are there not worrying about him maybe a good guy will come into the picture… who knows!
The third thing I did wrong, that I am stopping from this second one, is talking about him. I know it is hard but in all honesty, no one cares, you are the only one who still gives a shit. Your family, your friends, that bus driver every Tuesday morning, have all had enough. They can all see your worth and are starting to get mad when you keep talking about him, stop it. You are better than a deadbeat, I promise you… you deserve a man, not a boy. You deserve a man who cares about you, who loves you, who wants you, and is madly missing you the second you walk out the door. Do not settle for anything less.
I am sick of all these wonderful people getting pushed over by people who do not deserve them, you know what you deserve and what you don’t so make it happen, get the respect you deserve. Leave that guy who treats you like trash and chase your dreams, the universe will look after the rest.
Featured image via Andrew Ly on Unsplash
