When I first left for college I was terrified.
I wasn’t sure if I would make any friends, if I would feel comfortable, or if I would survive the stress and anxiety. But I did and I’m so thankful that I chose to go to college now. I spend pretty much eight months of my year at college, living on campus, so naturally many may call it my “second home”. However, the way I see it is it is my home. I may not have lived long and I may not have much of a past here, but I do have a future.
It took me a year and a half to figure out where I belonged. I transferred schools, second guessed myself, did it anyway and ended up where I am today. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I left for three months, but when I returned I felt like I was home. I knew this is where I am meant to be. Going back where I grew up is strangely different. When I go back there I don’t really feel welcomed or wanted. I feel like I’m just taking up space and getting in the way. College is different. I have a purpose when I’m here. At home, I’m just another person.
One of the greatest moments of my life is when I found my purpose. It took me quite a while. I changed my mind several times. I was more indecisive and picky than I should have been. However, when I finally decided and it was settled, all that time spent planning and changing plans was completely worth it. Now I know what I am doing and where I want to be. I haven’t told anyone because someone once told me, “Don’t tell them what you plan to do, just do it and then show them what you have accomplished. No one can judge your success the way they can a plan.” This has always resonated with me.
When figuring out what I want to do, I realized that college is not just a place where I learn, work, and live in a tiny dorm room. College is my home. It is the place where I dream and make goals. It’s the place where I make friends and get to be myself. I have my own opinions and I am allowed to voice them. I can truly be myself here. I can’t say that about the place where I grew up.
My family has changed so much since I started college. It’s been difficult adjusting to that. Mostly because I’m not completely okay with it. So many things happened and I wasn’t allowed time to process it. I guess because technically I am an adult and I’m in college no one thought to take my feelings into consideration.The home I once knew is gone. I had to start over. And I chose to start over here rather than there.
I was scared when I first started college. But over time, things just started happening. I made some friends, classes went well, I got a job, and I have made some incredible memories. I can’t wait to see what the next two years look like. Starting over is terrifying, but it can also be a great experience. I’m not so scared anymore. I am more excited for the possibilities and opportunities that come with this experience and the next one.
College has become the home I never had, giving me a family I never had and a life I always dreamed of. Not a day goes by that I take for granted. I realize how lucky I am to be here. I couldn’t have asked for a better experience. I found my home, my purpose, and myself all in one place. I am forever grateful for all that has been given to me. I look forward to what comes next.
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