I have been “single” in Facebook relationship terms for a long time, chronically single if you will, but I have always had a guy around. There has always been one on the back burner, set on a light simmer waiting for the heat to pick up until it boils over, catches fire and caused complete havoc and then I repeat the same cooking process all over again. After this last fiery disaster, I decided that I might need to put the pot away, step out of the kitchen and take a moment for myself. As Lady Antebellum sang, “I think it’s time to take a heartbreak”.
I’m in desperate need of a man-detox. In the past, whenever I would have a breakup, I would do what I do best, rush into something new too quickly forget about the last idiot. This time I need to stop repeating history and actually heal from the heartbreak. I need to rid myself of all of these harsh, bitter feelings that I have towards the male species and the way that they have treated me in the past. I don’t want to hold this resentment that I have towards my past over the heads of any new potential relationship that I could have in the future, so I just need a moment to breathe and refocus.
With this time of peace that I have been trying to seek, I have been receiving some hostility from outside parties. That’s a bullsh*t excuse for not letting me take you out for a drink, come on already. I like persistence, but not pushy, especially now when I just told you no multiple times. Not all guys are like them, and you are pushing away the good ones. No, not all guys are like the guys from my past, because I would like to be with a man who understands what I’m trying to do here and will appreciate my honesty. We all know we aren’t getting any younger, we don’t want to wait too long. Well aware of my age, thank you for your douche concern.
Here is the thing about your life – It is your life. You have to do what is in your best interest to you. It really doesn’t matter what everyone else is saying or advising you to do. You have to do what you think is the best and how you are going to heal the most. If that means turning down dates to spending weekends at home in your sweatpants with your dog catching up on Animal Planet programs, then so be it! This is your opportunity to re-find yourself and what makes you happy, outside of a relationship.
After breakups, we sometimes make the mistake of rushing into something new to repair the damage that was left. Sometimes it works, but then there are other times when it leaves more wreckage than what was there before. Taking some time to yourself and refocusing your energy on what you want out of life should be your priority, not what others think about you and your relationships. Their opinion shouldn’t be what ultimately makes you content with life; It should all come from you. Being able to stand on your own and recognize what makes you happy is the ultimate goal.
Lesson to be learned: Take a relationship-detox. Hell, consider taking a people-detox if you need to. Now is the time to refocus your energy back on your priorities and what you need out of life. It doesn’t matter what someone else might want for you, it is about you feeling good about yourself and being able to do it on your own. You aren’t going to be able to maintain a healthy, happy relationship if you aren’t able to be happy on your own, so now is the time to take the first step in making it happen. Find your happiness and enjoy you again!
Featured image via Marcelo Matarazzo on Unsplash
