Sometimes we get stuck, you graduated from that impressive university, and your days now consist of filling out job applications and arguing politics with your octogenarian grandfather. Here are a few things to expect when you return to your hometown after college.
You Donāt Have a Social Life Anymore-
Or at least you are no longer eating sushi with your eight best mates and spending Friday nights at a friendās kegger. You are now most likely home at 8:00 PM watching Matlock with your father and wondering which girl from your hometown you could call for a casual date.
Grocery Shopping with Your Parents is a Nightmare
You never knew how hard acquiring food is in the real world. There is no more awful campus dining service food, but you have to cook everything yourself. After a week of ramen and PB & J sandwiches, you decide to go gourmet and join your parents at the grocery. Unknown to you they hawk coupons, penny pinch on overly ripe fruit, and argue endlessly about the price of papayas.
Your Parents Have Opinions About Your Dating Life
You will either be ādating the wrong peopleā or ānot dating enough.ā Forget college flings, your motherās friends the Andersons have a daughter your age. Why donāt you take her on a date? Forget the fact that she is a twenty-two-year-old My Little Pony fan. She will arrive at your car wearing some unironic country music T-shirt. You will both find rapport in talking about your domiciles and your aging parents. You will be elated when you find out she has a connection to the only party in the neighborhood or frankly the complete boxed set of Friends.
Your Parents are Helpless with Technology
Your parents have jobs, or at least they did before they retired, you would imagine they have a firm grasp on technology. Donāt expect them to be able to write code or master Twitter posts, but youād like to hope they can email their friends and update their smartphones. Youāre sorely mistaken, your parents treat technology as this esoteric world that only āKathy from down the streetā understands. You will wow them with basic key commands, and they will pester you to help them post videos of the family cat on Facebook. In the end, they will talk about the āCloudā so often you will come to the concussion that they might think it is a physical airborne object.
āWhatās Next?ā
Every relative that you only see at reunions and funerals will be asking, āSo whatās next?ā You will look at them blankly and try to decide a new response to someone asking, āWhat do you do with an English/Creative writing degree?ā āWrite creatively, explore the human condition through fiction, be my own freaking boss.ā Whichever you decide to say they will all look down, sigh, and say āohā before walking away.Ā
You will get out, it may not be today or tomorrow, and you may work a terrible job washing dishes or slinging fries, but you will make money to move out into the āreal world.ā And when you do smile like a god because this is your life now, and
itās up to you to make your dreams a reality.
Feature image via @unsplash.com