As I was at the stoplight waiting for the light to go from red to green, I was chilling, with my head bobbing to the song “Wait” by Maroon 5. The lyrics go something like this,
“I’ll make up for all those times
Your love, I don’t wanna lose
I’m begging you
Wait, can you turn around?”
I was singing along to the song when suddenly, I felt my lips chapping. I ever-so-slyly reached out for my lip balm on the floor of the passenger seat, in one of my jacket’s pockets. I opened the tube, when suddenly, the light turned green. Ugh!.
Thanks to my unsuccessful attempt at putting on lip balm and listening to Adam Levine’s qualms about lost time with a past lover, I realized how true it is that. Time does not “wait” for you because it doesn’t give a f*ck about you. Ironically, that is precisely why I like to wear watches. It reminds me that time is of the essence because time doesn’t give a f*ck about you.
The concept of timing has been a big theme in my life for the past two years. Whether it was the good or the bad kind of timing, timing has me brought me all kinds of lessons.
For one, I came here to the states on a student visa. After college, I was at liberty to work in the US for a year and then ultimately had to go back home after my work permit expired. I had a great job. I was a Project Manager for a company.
A year passed, my work permit expired, and I had to go back home. Well, I chose not to. I figured out a way to stay — legally, which worked out in my favor in the end, but by law, I could not work for a year.
That one year did not do me any good. My life was put on pause. A year of my life slipped by just like that. I watched other people pursue their dreams while my own had to be paused, put on hold.
After that uphill battle of a year, which is at present, I finally won. I am able to work again.
Unfortunately for me, my new battle is the process of starting from the bottom all over again. Because of time. Within that one year, I was not able to progress myself career-wise. Because time does not wait.
After I sent countless resumés to companies, I found a decent company that called me back. I went through both the first and second round of interviews and met with the HR manager and the director.
After which they told me they would give me two days to think over whether I wanted the job or not. In my head (and in any sane person’s head), that meant a job offer, right? Wrong. After I told them that I wanted the job, they told me that they would contact me in a week to let me know their decision. They never did. What. The. F*ck. I was told they would give me time to think if I wanted the job or not. And then, dead silence.
I also learned that people do not give a f*ck about your time.
Another example of bad timing that I have experienced is when people who have been in my life forever, come out of the woodwork all of a sudden, blindsiding me and admitting to me out of nowhere that they had feelings for me this whole time.
Although it’s flattering in a way, it ultimately caused more harm than anything because it just confused me and ended up hurting me. Too much time has passed for me to be able to do anything remotely constructive about it. I learned that people do not understand the concept of time when it comes to love. Sometimes, it is just too late.
To answer Adam Levine’s question, “If we can wait, if we can turn it around,” sometimes, the answer is no.
I can’t wait and turn around the year of being able to work on myself and furthering my career that I lost. But instead, I can start over and keep moving forward until I get to where I want to be.
I can’t wait and turn around the wasted time with people who don’t give a f*ck about my time. But instead, I can choose to not let them keep wasting it any further by letting go.
I can’t wait and turn around to see what it could have been like with so-and-so. But instead, I can just thank them for having loved me.
What else can I do instead, you ask?
Well, for now, I can wait for the stoplight to turn into a green light before putting my lip balm on.
Originally published in Thought Catalog.
Featured image via Unsplash
