Daddy issues, don’t we all have them at some point? It’s okay to have daddy issues because life is bound to happen. But, for some of us, daddy issues become a problem because they block us from connecting with everyone around, including ourselves. It’s almost like we unconsciously use our daddy issues as an excuse to run away from our personal responsibility to heal ourselves, let go of the past and move forward. And the dangerous thing about having daddy issues isn’t merely about having them, it’s about not knowing that we do. Here are some subtle and obvious signs that you have them!
You Fall For Emotionally Unavailable People
Unconsciously, you protect yourself by choosing someone who is emotionally not on the same page as you are. You want commitment? You chase after someone who doesn’t want a relationship. You often end-up in almost relationships and if you ever get involved in a real relationship, it often does not last. You go after people who don’t believe in love, romance, and vulnerability. Unknowingly, you go for people who are not ready, just like you.
You Have A Hate Love Relationship With Your Dad
The relationship you have with your father plays a significant role in your daddy issues. Maybe he left when you were young. Maybe he passed away. Maybe you don’t know your dad is. Maybe your dad was abusive to your mum or you and your siblings. Maybe your dad always criticized you, never accepted you for who you are, and made you feel like you’ll never be enough. Regardless, your relationship with your dad ultimately dictates your relationship with men, whether good or bad. And that’s where you come in, your daddy issues won’t go away if you don’t put the work.
You Are Terrified Of Commitment
You avoid commitment at any cost. When things get serious with someone, you bail out. You tend to ghost people because you don’t want to let them in. You don’t share a lot about yourself and you don’t allow people to get close enough to get to know the real you. And you definitely are the one who would rather end things with someone than tell them what they really mean to you. If they ask you to move in, you tell them it’s too early. If they want a baby, you tell them you’re not ready yet. You always look for excuses rather than solutions.
You Have Trust Issues
You’ve been hurt by your dad’s dishonesty, inconsistency, and broken promises. So, you protect yourself from having your hopes up. You question someone’s intentions for you instead of trusting that they want your best interest or that they have genuine intentions for you. You’re always checking if someone’s story checks out rather than focusing on making a connection with them. You become secretive about your past and your plans for the future instead of just being open.
You Over-Invest In People
Some people with daddy issues feel like they’re not good enough. So, they go overboard with everything to seek approval, gain un-devoted attention and feel loved. They think that the more they give, the more the other person wants them. You are the one who compromises in the relationship. You are the fixer. And you are the one who pours their all while the other person doesn’t even share their half.
You Sabotage Your Healthy Relationships
You want to be in love, but you’re scared of being in love with someone because the moment you are, you lose control. When you find yourself in a good relationship, you get scared because you are haunted by the fear of it not working out, of having your heart shattered, and of being rejected. So, before someone gives up on you, you give up on them first. You look for flaws instead of focusing on what’s working in the relationship. You push your partner away, so they end it with you. And if they don’t, you subconsciously hurt them. Maybe you do something you know will ruin your relationship, so you don’t have a real chance at love with them.
So these are 6 signs you might have daddy issues. It’s important to become aware of the complications that are preventing us from moving forward and find ways to overcome them.
Featured image via Joanna Nix-Walkup on Unsplash
Dear Farah, I have just read this article and I must say you couldn’t be talking about anyone else but me. Do you have an article about what someone like myself can do in this situation now that I am fully aware of the issue? I like this guy and I don’t want to mess things up again
Hey fellow daddy issues person, i’m no expert but id suggest communication. We tend to hide stuff and not talk about anything because we’re scared the other person might leave, just remember that he is with you for both your strengths and your flaws. There is something special he saw in you and whenever you feel like the relationship is suffocating you and he might leave just remember to talk to him, don’t shut him out because he wants to be there for you and its not fair for you not to let him be there for you. 🙂
I always do the whole making someone break up with me bit, i didn’t even realise i was showing signs of daddy issues in that. i thought i was just making the breakup better for both of us.
im pretty sure i have daddy issues but i dont get why i have them my dad didnt really he didnt really damage my life that bad so why do i have them? i dont get it thats all i had to say peace
I went after a man 40 years of age in my nursing class knowing he had a wife and family I didn’t care I believed all the lies he told me
My dad is a fag and li es with his lover
My mom looks like a dude and my life is horrible I wear so much crap on my face but I don’t care I didn’t care I was tearing up a family I am insecure and ha e poor self esteem. The man I was seeing looked older than my own father but I don’t care I will basically go for anyone who will give me attention real or fake.
i’m curious fella, after you wrote this BS, how did you feel? do you think it’s funny? because it’s just sad. you definitely have issues feeling the need to make fun of people with daddy issues
Curious: Why would you refer to the person as “fella” when the user’s name is that of a female’s; real or not? Oh wait — I know… it’s because you inherently believe that a woman would never do such a thing. Hence, it must be a man making s**t up simply to hurt others; right? Word of advice: Research Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD). For every 100 people, one is a sociopath. While there are three times the amount of male sociopaths compared to women, females still account for an estimated 78 million individuals worldwide (4 times the population of New York). Think about it.
as a person with daddy issues i’ve ruined every relationship with many people dating or not dating, i always block them and ghost them because i have trust issues and i’m scared of getting hurt or etc
sister chill
i’m also very insecure and my self esteem is low and i have depression and anxiety so i felt called out as a person with daddy issues lmao
i feel attacked-
Y’all too much. Good article tho, definitely gotta watch out for not doing too much and also not giving up on people before they can give up on me.