13 Reasons Why is by far one of the most powerful shows of our generation simply by the discussion it has created in terms of mental health, bullying, how to cope and interaction between people, among others. While it’s a powerful show that has generated an insane amount of praise and positive reaction, I refuse to watch it.
Well, it’s not so much that I refuse to watch it, I actually can’t bring myself to sit down and start the series.
I do not believe the show glorified suicide or mental illness, nor do I believe that it’s to shine a light on bullying in a way that it hasn’t been before. I genuinely believe it’s to educate kids on the lasting and dangerous effects bullying can have in a raw and realistic way that’s actually relatable to kids and teens, as well as create a conversation about it.
My main reasoning behind my ‘ban’ is because it’s too relatable for me to watch and I really don’t want to relive the traumatic experiences I had that are being portrayed in the show as it happens to other characters too.
I also don’t want it to trigger my mental health. I already lived through some of these experiences in my youth, and they were some of the toughest moments I’ve ever endured. Seeing it on screen, or similar circumstances will only cause my anxiety and depression to reoccur.
The sight of scars and blood can be a reminder of what dark things people used to do to themselves, sexual assault flashbacks might trigger memories of painful and graphic events that will never be forgotten, scenes of vomiting could entice people to start doing the same to look like the actors on the show or whoever else they compare themselves to, suicide attempts and discussion of the subject might inflict new ideas in someone’s mind of how they could accomplishment that particular end goal, and the discussion of the details of all the above can create a paranoia or anxious feeling for many other reasons.
I know that I will be effected and triggered by some of the subject matter and I am very confident that it will bring up old and slightly unresolved issues from my past. I have worked so hard to try and grow from those experiences and move past them. I’ve come too far to go back in that dark hole I was in before and I can’t allow a show to put me back there. Especially when I know what the content is about.
I don’t want to suffer through episodes with a pain in my chest, hands fidgeting and my mind wondering down memory lane while tears stream my face and blur my vision. I don’t want to go to bed with flashbacks of dangerous thoughts or painful memories replaying in my dreams. I don’t want to think of my friends and their relations to the shows as well and worry about their well-being. I don’t want to be triggered and have it control my life again.
And I know I’m not the only one with these views as well.
There are people who will argue my stance and say that if I don’t watch I won’t know how to help create and continue the conversation that needs to be had about the topics on the show. When I was younger I needed a show to educate me and my peers about this stuff, but unfortunately there wasn’t, so I was forced to learn and create a conversation on my own in hopes it would educate others.
Yes, it’s a conversation we should be having, but I can’t bring myself to become apart of it for watching a show and realizing this is a problem. I rather discuss these painful and realistic problems based off of my own experiences rather than ones I watched on screen that triggered a lot more problems to resurface in my life again. I have to protect myself, even if that means missing out on one of the most influential shows of our generation. And I will not risk my life because of a show.
Featured image from 13 Reasons Why
