Sex is complicated, it’s messy, it’s exhilarating and it can have real-life consequences. Sex can happen in a variety of forms and amongst a variety of people whether spontaneously or pre-arranged.
The one thing sex should always include is a condom.
Here’s the thing: porn has fetishized the “raw” and “bareback” methods of engaging in intercourse, and people fail to realize those performers are tested intensely. As a matter of fact, it’s meant to be a “fantasy” and not be taken as real life. Porn has given people false expectations of what sex should be like, how it should sound like, and that it shouldn’t be safe.
Condoms are gross. They’re not pleasant to put on, and they certainly are not the greatest things to deal with after intercourse, but guess what? I’d rather clean up a small mess than a larger one nine months later.
Is it awkward as hell buying condoms at a store? 100%. I’m also a firm believer that it should not solely be the guys’ responsibility to have to provide protection or be the sole custodian of condom carrying. If sex is between two consenting adults, then the burden of safety should fall on both parties.
In my numerous sexual encounters over the years, I’ve always felt the need to wear a condom. It’s a means to protect myself first and foremost against any possible diseases I could contract especially if I’m hooking up with a stranger. On top of that, no matter how much someone tells me they’re on birth control, the only true way to prevent pregnancy is to use a condom. Condoms are my safety net and insurance policy.
Do condoms break? Sure from time to time, but you’re more susceptible to unplanned pregnancy or disease not using a condom, than if you used a condom and it breaks.
Too many famous people (Kardashians, athletes) are having children out of one night stands or new sexual encounters and they’re intrinsically tied to that person for the rest of their life because they couldn’t take an extra precaution before heading to pound town. Kids are great and all and are supposed to be the future, but they also harsh your vibe if you’re attempting to live your best life without being tied down at the moment.
I’ve seen and heard plenty of arguments that sex with a condom doesn’t feel as good as sex without a condom. There is some truth to it because when you’re wearing a condom, it adds a buffer in between the natural skin to skin contact. The problem with sex without a condom is that you also need to account for the lack of lubrication that a condom provides and the thought of what germs you’re passing/receiving when penetrating with another human being.
Condom use is just as important for guys who have sex with other guys. Again, while it may feel better or less complicated to get down to business without a rubber, you’re running the risk of contracting a life-threatening disease.
Anal sex is a whole different ball game because that hole is not meant to be pushed and stretched the way it is during penetration. Anal sex also requires lube, as the anus is not self-lubricating.
Those men who died of AIDS before it was an epidemic and there was no stigma attached to what was essentially considered a “gay disease” didn’t die so people can be sexually irresponsible.
The debate over whether you should use protection when engaging in oral sex (blowjobs, eating someone out, rim jobs) is one that will wage on fiercely. My take on it is that you’re engaging in these activities as a (somewhat) informed human being and you know whether or not you should go down on someone or receive oral pleasure with or without a condom.
Personally, I think, giving oral pleasure should be done naturally, or “raw” only because condoms and other preventative items are not the greatest to have in your mouth. Invest in a good oral hygiene routine afterward and know if your hookup is sexually promiscuous or not. However, this is only my personal view.
Condom use should not be a taboo subject or something we should feel ashamed to discuss. In fact, the less we discuss condom use, the less likely our peers and eventually future generations will feel comfortable talking about it or practicing safe sex with it.
So next time you’re about to embark on your sexual adventure with a stranger or hookup, wrap it before you tap it so you don’t end up trapped or end up with the clap.
Featured image via Mean Girls
