Why No Matter How Hard I Try, I Can’t Let You Go

You can’t fall out of real love. Even if you’re not with your partner anymore, the love will never fade. It doesn’t matter how old you were; your first love will always stay in your heart. I am not talking about a random first fling or the person you dated as a dare. I am talking about the first time you experienced real love for someone. That first love didn’t need to be your first relationship; hell, it could have been your second or third or fourth. It could’ve been someone you went out on a few dates with or just someone you really liked. Whatever the situation was, in your heart, you knew that this was real.

Why could I never let you go?

I ask myself this question all the time. It’s been years since you were a part of my life, but somehow, you managed to make my life seem complete. Was it because you saw that side of me that no one else did or because your mere presence made everything seem right? Was it because I couldn’t imagine my day ending without hearing your voice or your knocking on my door every morning?

Because you cared more about me taking care of myself than I ever did or because you’d walk with me in the middle of the night because I was craving ice cream? Because we connected at such a level that not even logic could explain or because I was living the illusion of your love?

You have been and will always be the magnet that pulls me to you every time we are together.

I guess that’s what you’d call the power of true love. My feelings for you were real, and even though we were never right for each other, you will always hold a special place in my heart.

Letting go is one of the hardest things humans experience in their lives.

Letting go, both of feeling of love and of the person itself, is heartbreaking.

Connection need not be consistent. It can happen in mere moments, but those moments are enough to last a lifetime. t doesn’t matter that things ended a while ago or that you haven’t seen this person in a while;  when you are around them, you realize the spark that never faded, and it never will. It is this spark that hinders you from completely moving on.

There is no denying that your first love was special.

It’s not easy to love someone so much with all their flaws. However, don’t hold on because you fear never experiencing true love again. I am not saying that you will definitely find true love again (although I really hope you do), but you will never know until you take that chance on love again.

When you give your heart and soul to someone and invest so much time into building something special with them, it’s very difficult to throw it all out of the window.

In fact, I don’t even think it’s entirely healthy to abandon your experience altogether. Keep the good memories in your heart, and remove all the negativity associated with you first true love.

This person helped you experience the strongest emotion of all. Don’t beat yourself up over the fact that you haven’t been able to get over them 100%. I know I haven’t gotten over my first love, I probably never will, and that’s OK! Always remember that while your first love never really dies, you will find a true love that will bury it alive.

Previously published on Project Wednesday.

Featured Photo via Pixabay.

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