There comes a time in every adult life where we enter a painfully dry spell without sex. How we can go from machines one day to an empty well full of wishes the next is truly astonishing. But, let’s be real, we all begin to miss it after a few days of alone time.
The latest trend on Twitter has brought up some hilarious stages we may go through and they aren’t exactly wrong when they say we are doing it.
Day 1
Day 1 without sex: Beginning to feel my virginity coming back..
— Sergio (@Sergiowtd) July 11, 2018
We already know this is going to be a looooonnnggggg wait.
Day 53
Day 53 without sex: went to the beach today just so the waves could smack my ass
— don’t cough on me pls (@sarahcrispy_) July 10, 2018
No one cares if someone even saw.
Day 55
Day 55 without sex: going to canes just so I can get a three finger combo
— sabrina (@italiannacho) July 15, 2018
3 fingers seem like a daunting thought at this moment…
Day 67
Day 67 without sex: Went to Six Flags so I could remember what it was like to ride and scream
— Les ❁ (@aquino__leslie) July 12, 2018
What would you do if you don’t have an amusement park accessible?
Day 71
Day 71 without sex: my smart watch thinks I’ve jogged 3 miles today but I havent left the hosue
— Joey McGuire (@m_cGuire) July 13, 2018
God bless our Fitbit’s heart for thinking we’re physically active when we just want to be sexually active.
Day 73
Day 73 without sex: the voices in my head are starting to seduce me
— taylor ⚢ (@Tayloradditonnn) July 8, 2018
That’s a new level of personal.
Day 87
day 87 without sex: purposely drove on the side of the highway so the rumble strip would make my car vibrate
— Bork (@borksanders) July 12, 2018
Is this now replacing road head?
Day 89
Day 89 without sex: I went to Starbucks just so I could hear somebody scream my name
— Alain (@AlainZeus_) July 16, 2018
The burn of spilling my hot drink didn’t even get me this heated…
Day 96
https://twitter.com/brooke_binz/status/1015997696308580357
Looks like we should all make a dentist appointment to feel more excitement when someone else makes us choke on a dental tool.
Day 98
https://twitter.com/Danielolivasss/status/1014239765170774017
Being choked is a great thing we will always miss, don’t judge.
Day 121
https://twitter.com/chandramukhhi/status/1018772617728180225
Didn’t even swat it away.
Day 135
day 135 without sex: https://t.co/VPHoB6ccqa
— brendon't (@brendonSkolat) July 15, 2018
Things are getting desperate if this starts to happen.
Day 136
https://twitter.com/DamarisRobless/status/1018665661005008896
The feeling of not being able to get back up without pain also came back.
Day 175
Day 175 without sex: I only shaved one leg so when I lay in bed and my legs rub against each other, it feels like I’m laying next to a man.
— Violet Benson (@Daddyissues__) July 13, 2018
You know your single when…. (And this was no accident.)
Day 187
https://twitter.com/kmichelllle/status/1018276733177430016
There’s a lot of spit going to waste.
Day 196
Day 196 without sex: I went to the market to get a watermelon and got a little turned on slapping it trying to see if it was a good one :/
— tio mike (@TheRealMikeskee) July 7, 2018
Grocery shopping should never turn sexual….
Day 213
day 213 without sex: plugged my charger into my phone and whispered “you like that?”
— David Allen (@allen88_d) July 16, 2018
It’s sad our phones are getting it in more than us.
Day 263
https://twitter.com/MlKEHEADLY/status/1018697049766793216
At this point we really don’t need to speak the language or see the booty for explainin’.
Day 274
https://twitter.com/Pissedoffhotdog/status/1017479875597250561
For real tho.
Day 285
https://twitter.com/Muthoni_Ke/status/1018831189539516416
That’s how you know we’re in desperate need.
Day 298
Day 298 without sex: considering asking the FBI agent in my camera for ass pics
— paulito (@pauIito) July 8, 2018
At this point there’s nothing to lose.
Day 303
day 3OH!3 without sex:
i’ve started trusting hoes
— pineapples✨ (@richeeeeee) July 14, 2018
That’s how you know you’re desperate.
Day 367
https://twitter.com/arianna9669/status/1016059459846770688
Can you even text yourself, or do we have to slide into our own dm’s instead?
Day 368
https://twitter.com/iamuntamedjay/status/1018666625778806795
Nothing screws you better than the government.
Day 378
https://twitter.com/kingubaidda/status/1018804944437161984
The driver doesn’t even see the sexualized eye roll when we say it.
Day 394
Day 394 without sex: I can see John Cena.
— Rooklyn Francis (@RooK_MuziK) July 9, 2018
Need I say more?
Day 436
day 436 without sex: my priest said i will be punished for my sins i said yes daddy thank you
— ceo of misandry (@gretafromspace) July 15, 2018
Forgive me father, for I have sinned.
Day 456
day 456 without sex , i got into a fight today just so i can get my hair pulled
— bianca bli$$$ (@biancuuhhh) July 16, 2018
Who cares if it’s pulled by someone your attracted to or not at this point. It does the job.
Day 475
day 475 without sex: the crack in my couch cushions looking kinda cute
— Dat Tran (@trandat_) July 10, 2018
And we aren’t talking about to stick your toes in when you watch TV.
Day 530
Day 530 without sex: I didn’t park in the driveway so when I leave I can remember what not pulling out feels like
— Sunny Mastana (@sunnator) July 8, 2018
And there’s no panic required this time.
Day 532
Day 532 without sex: Bought a breast pump so that something would suck on my titty
— Megan Chilese (@ChileseMegan) July 11, 2018
Moms aren’t the only ones who need to feel needed.
Day 582
day 582 without sex: i actually don’t even need sex because my anxiety’s fucking me harder than anyone ever could
— ѕαм ◡̈ (@sxmmie) July 13, 2018
Anxiety hurts but sometimes feels so good.
Day 678
Day 678 without sex: someone said “who’s a good girl” at the dog park and I said “me daddy”
— Daily Sex Gifs (@sexplicitgifs) July 16, 2018
Not even sorry or embarrassed.
Day 7,262
https://twitter.com/viewsfromjay23/status/1018727534937231360
Literally.
Although the thought of having sex again after not having it for so long may scare the heck out of you,it doesn’t matter because it’ll be worth it. The internet describes it perfectly and I’m thankful this hilarious and low-key serious Twitter trend has been happening because it brought some relatable content to our lives and can make a lot of people smile during a time of frustration.
Good luck on getting laid and hang in there!
Featured image via Claudio Schwarz on Unsplash
