We were never meant to be.
We were merely a notion; a fantasy interwoven into the steadfast fabric of your mind. An idealistic, rose-colored dream come to life. A dangerously euphoric, alluring mysticism, extinguishable by nothing but your own perception.
We were never meant to be.
To you, however, we were love personified; a deep, soul-to-soul friendship blossoming into a passionate romance. Our dubious love blinded you, obscuring the truth until you lost yourself in a haze of delusional passion. In your eyes, kindness morphed into love, empathy shifted into love, friendship transitioned into love, indifference mysteriously epitomized love itself. To you, every act of human decency, every word that didn’t hurt, signified budding romance, but the truth is that I was never in love with you.
We were never meant to be.
Your love for me was immediate; a spark igniting an unquenchable fire, a toxic waft infiltrating a pure, summer breeze. I approached the flames with caution, gingerly dancing around the prospect of love, the notion of you. I shielded myself from the raging inferno, out of fear that you would damage the fragile fractals of my heart, but you plunged into the wreckage with reckless disregard for my shattered soul. You insisted on dragging me out of the rubble, though your desire to pull me to safety was unrequited.
We were never meant to be.
I gradually pulled myself away from the flames, away from your love for me. I cherished the distance between us, the blissful hope that you would extinguish the fire that nearly broke me. Still, you lingered, haunting the darkest corners of my mind, enveloping the deepest caverns of my heart. Your presence was cloying, suffocating my last vestiges of sanity as I desperately groped for a lifeline. In your deluded, dreamlike reality, I loved you, even as I escaped you and never looked back.
We were never meant to be.
I longed to feel an iota of love, an inkling of passion, a snatch of emotion for you, but I felt no pain, no heartache, no desire. All that remained in my heart was a steadfast numbness, a hollow thumping unprovoked by thoughts of romance. All I found left in your absence was a wash of relief, a hope that you would eventually discover that I had never truly loved you.
We were never meant to be.
I relished your affection, your desire for me alone, the blissful sensation of feeling beautiful, of feeling wanted. I fell in love with love itself as I savored the peculiar high of your constant doting, but I was never in love with you. As you grew addicted to loving me, I found myself high off your pure, unconditional love for me. We were beautifully caustic; a lethal potion of misguided love.
We were never meant to be.
Perhaps, we are one and the same; two broken souls picking up the pieces of our shattered lives. We are stars beaming brilliantly across the galaxies; never destined to align, thriving off distance as we learn the true meaning of love. You loved me; I was solely in love with your feelings for me, but it’s time to relinquish your star-crossed fantasy.
We were never meant to be.
Previously published on Thought Catalog.
Photo by Yuris Alhumaydy on Unsplash
