This is some free writing that I did about a new relationship and about noticing all of the things that is different about him verses the way your exs used to be with you. When you find all of your firsts to be extremely unnerving, but also overwhelmingly exciting. It’s about the honeymoon phase and all of the good moments that are about to come, because you can tell from the look in his eyes that he is just as invested in this as you are.
—
The look in your eyes scares me.
It’s a look I’ve never quite seen before.
It’s overwhelming, it’s intoxicating,
And it’s unnerving, it’s unreal.
It’s not one that I should fear,
Or one where I think you have secrets to hide.
It is a look of pure attraction,
And good things that will come in time.
You’re shocked when I tell you it is unheard of,
This light that I have never seen.
He says it’s the way you should always be looked at,
And it is appalling that it is the first time for me.
In the past, the man of the moment would shut his eyes,
Leaving me to believe that someone better was out there,
Someone more worthy of their time, but not in there presence,
Someone they would imagine me to be.
In the past, he never looked at me like I was a work of art,
Trying to take in all the lines and cracks.
He never looked at me like I was something of beauty,
Something that should appreciated for its flaws.
In the past, he wouldn’t make my heart flutter with just a simple look of his deep brown eyes.
Simply gazing at me,
Making sure that I was okay,
But there was so much more between the lines.
In the past, the man of the moment would shut me out of his life,
Only appearing when he needed something,
Only showing up when he wanted attention,
And only giving me enough time to keep me on the line.
But with you, I’m scared beyond repair.
I’m terrified to jump, yet I’m ready to dive in head first.
I’m guarded like the royal family, yet let my walls crumble for you.
And I’m nervous that you could break me, yet so calm with the way this is going.
There is something about you that is so mysterious and foreign,
Yet I feel like I know you like the back of my hand.
There is something so tragic and unkept,
Yet with you I feel no despair.
I can’t put my finger on it,
What it is about you that drives me wild.
Perhaps it is your kiss, perhaps it is your laugh,
Maybe it is just the way you make me smile.
It always comes back to this look,
Filling every emotion inside.
It comes back to the way you make me feel,
And show me that you have no demons left to hide.
So bare with me,
As I get used to your eyes.
I want this to last,
With that look that you can’t deny.
How do you feel when you start a new relationship?
Featured image Caique Silva on Unsplash
