It’s hard in the dating world to determine if a man is giving you mixed signals because there are so many questions and contributing factors you consider. Is he afraid to tell me the truth? Is he lying to me because he’s being a little too sweet and I don’t feel like he’s being honest about it?
Women always wonder if he’s giving you mixed signals because it’s what we are used to, or at least what we think we are used to. But I have to say, if you constantly feel like you have to decode a guy’s signals or motives, you should leave him ASAP. Questioning a mixed signal is a signal; a signal to get the heck out while you can before it gets worse.
If a man is genuinely interested you will know. They’ll willingly take initiative and make their actions known loud and clear. Sure, you might be shocked because no man has ever treated you this way before, but you’ll never have to question his intentions. Guys are not overly expressive with their words so their actions will say everything so their mouths don’t have to.
If he says things and doesn’t follow through with his actions, it probably means he’s not as interested as you think he is or you want him to be. If he doesn’t make a move when you want him to or keeps slacking in the effort department, take the hint. You should be a priority, not an option.
If he says he likes you but he doesn’t want a commitment yet (or isn’t ready for one), it just means he likes having you around for a few things (*cough* sex *cough*) such as company or feeling semi-needed, he doesn’t want you as a girlfriend. He’ll also probably use you until he finds someone he likes more to give up his singlehood (and your friendship) for. He more than likely will not come around so don’t get caught up in his mixed signal.
I get that he might say things to make you feel special or do spontaneous things to give you a glimpse of what could happen in your future together, but if you doubt any of what he says or does a lot more than usual, take the hint your gut is telling you.
Take the clue when he doesn’t want to commit because he won’t change his stance no matter how hard you try to change him. And if he lets you go when you’ve finally had enough of his mind games instead of fighting for you, you know where you stand in his mind. Far away from him.
I know that women over analyze and over complicate things, I’ve been there many times myself. Mixed signals are detrimental in what could crush a woman’s self-esteem and her image of her worth. You should never lose sight of who you are, what you stand for or what you want to achieve in life because of a stupid boy who doesn’t have the balls to tell you exactly what he wants with you.
Never let your worth be determined by a boy’s poor behavior.
I get you want to make up excuses for his behavior to try and convince your friends and yourself that he genuinely does want you. But how much more lying can you get involved in? By denying his actions your only causing yourself more damage in terms of your self-esteem and confidence. Don’t let him be the reason for these insecurities, you are better than that!
And I know you may be a tad nervous about not finding someone who will actually like you after you two are done. If he does most of the things above that are negative, chances are he doesn’t particularly like you enough to keep you around long term anyway. You’ll find someone who is worth it and will make you feel loved, secure and safe.
So remember: his actions accompanied by his words will give you the signal you really need in order to make the decision to stay with him or not.
Featured image via Joshua Rawson-Harris on Unsplash
