This poem is about discovering weaknesses that didn’t know existed until after a relationship ended. You appear to be this strong, independent person until a moment or a person causes you to suddenly see all the faults and pieces that you have been trying to hide deep down inside. Your realization isn’t necessarily a bad thing; just a moment of clarity in the wreckage of a broken relationship.
With every failed relationship, I find another little piece of me.
Whether it has been there all along, or something I found within you,
I discover a new piece of the puzzle that I have been trying to find,
Or maybe trying to hide.
It’s like a glass case I’ve broken open,
With the pieces shattered all over the floor.
I didn’t realize how much carnage there could be
Until I’m standing in the middle of the damage.
Every piece of the puzzle is jagged,
With sharp edges that are ready to cut
Further into the broken skin
Of the one that has come undone.
It’s not hard to see
All of the damage that I’ve had festering inside.
But once I have broken it open,
It has no place left to hide.
The pieces show I’m broken, beyond mends,
That is not hard to see.
I put up a good front,
But easily expose what’s underneath.
The pieces show I can be weak as our story comes to an end.
I know when it’s not meant to last,
Or the moments aren’t there anymore,
But it’s a realization that I can’t get past.
The pieces show I can be needy to a certain extent.
I love my freedom and my space,
But when it comes to seeing the one I want,
I need us to be in the same place.
The pieces show I can be hopeless, but that’s no surprise.
All women are, to a degree,
Hopeless in the sense
That we’re always trying to believe that it’s meant to be.
The pieces show I can be untrusting of any and all,
Because of all the ones in the past
Who said they would be there,
But didn’t pick me up when I was about to fall.
The pieces show I can be careless with my heart.
I say that I will be careful and try,
But in the end we all know
That is the most ridiculous lie.
The pieces show I can be too forgiving.
I will let you come back every single time
Because I believe in second and third chances,
Even when they’re not deserved and should be denied.
The pieces show I can be too optimistic.
I believe that you’re pure,
Even when you have showed me
Your demonic ways that no one can cure.
The pieces show I can be hurting every single day,
Waiting for your call, waiting for your apology,
Waiting to see you step up to the plate.
While in search for my heart that you have taken away.
The pieces show I can be good at faking a smile
While, deep down, I’m torn up inside.
I can shine for the world,
But with you, it’s so hard to lie.
The pieces show that I’m not over you,
I’m not really sure I will ever be.
You took so much of me with you,
When you couldn’t even set me free.
But I will continue to sift through the wreckage,
And clean up what remains.
Because somewhere in this pile of debris,
My love for myself remains.
Featured image via Laurine Bailly on Life of Pix