Why I’m Done Trying To Save You

Jan 30, 2019

You’re the one that put yourself in a position to lose my respect. You play the victim so well, yet you’re the one that put yourself in this position. I would never have given up on you—I’m not one to give up on people. I’ll continue to give them chance after chance, no matter what it is that I’ve heard about them. It’s almost as if you’ve sucked the empathy right out of me.

I no longer have the desire to help others. I know that this is a part of me that will return, but as of right now—you have reminded me why that spark is gone. You weren’t the first person to take advantage of me, and I’m sure that you won’t be the last. Every bit of disrespect that you toss my direction causes hindrance in another situation.

While I was growing up, I would watch my grandfather help people—he would love everyone that he met, and he still shows that kindness and compassion to everyone. You took that away from me. It’s almost as if you took the innocence and naivete away from me. Again and again, I have to remind myself, I was trying to help.

I wanted to help you, and I wanted to see you succeed.

I have no ill will towards you. And I do not want to see you in pain or suffering, but I no longer care to see your success. I no longer care if you accomplish your hopes and dreams. My desire to see you succeed and has been completely destroyed. My wish now is that you become a better person. I hope that you can see what kind of person that you are.

I hope that you can see the disappointment in my eyes the next time that you look at me—and I hope it cuts you to the core. My love, goodwill, and kindness has been replaced with nothing but frustration and disappointment—and I want to thank you for that.

Thank you for showing me yet again that not all friendships are two-sided.

Thank you for showing me the truth again. I was willing—trying so hard to ignore the fact that I’ve been burnt so many times. I thought that maybe you would be a unique case. Also I thought that maybe you would be something different, something new and refreshing. With your desperation for help, your need for it—I thought that you would be something different. You never were.

You came in and at first, it was almost as if things sincerely were different. I appreciated you being around. I cared about you—I trusted you to be different. That’s when everything took a turn. It was a one-eighty and you became a different person. Maybe you became the truest version of yourself. My guard slipped, and so did yours.

Everything in your life has always been a game, has it not? And now it’s officially game over. You can find your own savior. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. This time around, I’m going to protect myself. I will not be taken advantage of again. I will not allow myself to be put in another position with false friendships. This time around, I’m saving myself.