Rejection. The skillfully played-out “pass” on the situation. The sheer blindness to the highly-qualified applicant. The carefully-worded “fail to pursue future interest in the matter.” The neglect to the feelings at hand. The flat out “no” to the deal.
Rejection seems so hard when you have to engage in it. When you receive it, though, the harsh news seems like it doesn’t hurt the person who sent it. It looks like such a breeze, but it is like a hurricane. The waves crash down on you, taking out every breath that you have left.
Rejection is what I’ve grown used to.
The idea that someone does not accept you for all that you are worth is gut-wrenchingly painful. You look in the mirror every day and see the person that you have strove to be all your life. You are a beautiful soul, inside and out, but the person on the other side can’t see what you see. Whether it’s a dream job, friend request, or date, someone not taking a chance on is simply heartbreaking.
Rejection is a “broken” of its own, a “broken” that I know all too well.
While we may act as though we are OK, and the world will move on just fine, we question if it truly will. As the door closes and we wait for the next one to open, we wonder if this was the last shot we had. We may seem like we’re fine on the surface, but deep inside, we’re wondering where on Earth we went wrong and how we could have avoided the situation. We cringe at the idea that this never-ending feeling that no one wants us never seems to go away.
That feeling of rejection has consumed me.
For me, rejection has become so common that I’m not quite sure what happiness feels like anymore. This constant state of darkness and uncertainty is a dark cloud that always seems to follow overhead. Even in my moments of happiness, the idea that life could rip everything away as easily as it came hangs in the balance like a vulture waiting for its prey. The happiness doesn’t stay long before it turns into fear.
I’m living out of fear of rejection.
Yet we continue to live, knowing that at some point rejection will arrive again. That three-headed monster that we fear will be back, roaring its hot flames at us and trying to turn us into ashes. Rejection will continue to haunt us if we let it wake us in the middle of the night with cold sweats and rushing thoughts. It will continue to try to blind us from moving onto bigger, brighter things if we don’t put on our shades and prepare ourselves for it. Rejection will continue to hold us back if we don’t build the right foundation to step over it. How we handle rejection is up to us.
I’m ready to let go of rejection.
I’ve grown used to rejection in all facets of life, but you, my friend, don’t have to. I’ve become so accustomed to the feeling that it became the only feeling that I knew, but you, my friend, don’t have to feel that way. I began to constantly see myself as “not good enough,” but you, my friend, are good enough. I’ve seen rejection creep over my shoulder so often that that I started to lose hope for a way out, but you my friend, don’t have to look back in fear. You, my friend, are strong. You, my friend, can’t give up.
Featured image via Anthony Tran on Unsplash
