It’s always a refreshing moment when you are able to identify the exact reasons why a relationship is toxic. One overlooked issue in a lot of toxic relationships is codependency.
Codependency is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects one’s ability to have a healthy and mutual relationship. Some may even refer to it as a “relationship addiction” because their relationships are one-sided. Not to mention, abusive without them even knowing it.
Part of why we brush this toxic trait under the rug is because the warning signs are hard to notice. So, before you over-analyze every detail of your relationship, here are a few common traits of someone who is codependent.
They Try to Prevent You From Contacting Your Family and Friends
One sign that is undeniably toxic is when someone tries to get you further from your close friends and family. They might ask questions like “do you always have to call your mom?” or “do we have to go to this function? We just saw them last week,” in the beginning stages. Isolating someone from those they value is controlling behavior and indicates that they may fear losing control of the situation. So, they try to gain control by dictating your social circle and who they want you to be around.
They Always Want to Spend Time With You
In relationships, it’s important to have personal space because you are still an individual. However, codependent people don’t feel that way. They’ll blow off their friends for you, schedule their schedule around yours, and alter their interests to match yours just to keep you around. They put themselves last and put the other person first while remaining territorial.
They Ask “Do You Even Love Me?” A Lot
Someone who constantly needs this reassurance, especially during a disagreement, fears you may not be invested in the relationship like they are. They act as if they need to keep both eyes open and looking in different directions at all times in order to not get the rug pulled out from underneath them.
They Need Constant Reassurance
If you haven’t even become official and are still getting to know each other then someone who is codependent will 100% be panicked since they don’t have a title from you yet. They’ll do everything from flattery, pushing, begging, and constantly talking about it until they get reassurance.
Moving forward, if you identify these traits in your partner and are feeling a tad concerned by how to handle this developing issue, a great way to prevent these toxic behaviors is by creating boundaries within your relationship. You can find tips on how to create more effective emotional boundaries here.
If you or someone you know have experienced emotional trauma or developed internal anxieties or issues as a result of being in a codependent relationship, there is help out there. You can talk to online forums, seek professional help via mental health practitioners and other facilities to help you heal, move on, and grow.
Photo by João Silas on Unsplash
