Divorce or even a breakup after a long-term relationship can be one of the most devastating and stressful experiences in life. The sense of intimacy and sharing your whole life with your partner inevitably leads you to involve your significant other in every decision you make on a daily basis. Whether it is the simple, “What do you want for lunch?” or the classic “Honey, I’m home,” we can get overwhelmed at the thought of separation. A divorce can be extremely painful since with time, these couples develop a shared sense of identity. However painful it may be, there is a couple of things you need to remember:
1. Consider your reasons.
First of all, think long and hard about the reasons why you might be considering a divorce. Have you caught your partner cheating? Are things just not working out between the two of you? Some individuals might think about parting ways with their partners, but they feel like something stands in the way. A lot of people claim that this is because of the fear of not being able to afford a divorce. Others might use the excuse of staying together for the children. Whatever your reason is, think about it and examine its validity. For example, many avoid divorce not only because they do not want to put pressure on their kids, but because they do not want to become single parents.
2. Stay off social media.
The most common mistake couples do when they split up is venting on social media, such as Facebook. All of us probably know someone who uses social media as their very own public diary. Most importantly, when we post something online, it stays there forever and everyone can see it. So, save yourself the troubles and consider reviewing your post before you hit the send button. Or better yet, keep your relationship off of Facebook.
3. Take a break from each other.
Sometimes the only thing that couples need is time away from each other. Often, people who are still in love resort to a divorce or break-up only to later find out that they miss what they had built together. So, instead of making that move, consider taking some time away from your partner. For example, go on a vacation with your friends and enjoy some quality time alone.
4. Be careful with who you trust.
It is difficult going through a break-up without the support of friends and family. However, not a lot of people are marriage or divorce experts, and some might not even had a serious relationship. So, remember that you shouldn’t consult these people about your relationship issues. One of the best things couples can do is couples therapy. It’s proven to save relationships and will teach you ways of resolving conflicts.
5. Think about finances.
Spouses save money by sharing various household expenses, so it becomes stressful when the topic of divorce comes into question. Instead of paying one bill, couples need to think about how drastically their finances will be affected. Firstly, think about what is included in the marital estate, and consider the factors such as prenuptial agreements and state laws. For example, a certain piece of real estate which one of the spouses acquired before marriage may be excluded from the marital estate, if there was a signed prenuptial agreement. Most importantly, if you feel like you cannot handle your finances, get a financial advisor to help.
6. Find answers to critical legal questions.
Lastly, to decide whether or not you want to go through a divorce, ask yourself a couple of questions. Think about whether you are serious about it. Make sure that this is truly what you want. Secondly, are you in any kind of danger? Oftentimes, the main reason why people ask for a divorce is due to physical or emotional abuse. If this is the case then do not hesitate and leave your partner. Make sure you consult with a professional and get your questions answered before making such a big move.
Remember not to feel guilty for wanting to end an unhealthy relationship or a relationship that no longer makes you happy. Keep your head up and remember that there is life after a divorce.
Photo by Henri Pham on Unsplash
