If there’s one thing we all know about humans, it’s that we’re competitive and constantly comparing ourselves to others. Even when it comes to private matters in our bedrooms, most of us keep score and share details with someone else. Which begs the question: How often are most people engaging in sex? And, furthermore, should we be making love with our partners every single day?
What do our bodies say to sex?
Yes, we know that ‘getting it on’ feels good. At the most basic level, sexual intercourse releases dopamine, the pleasure neurotransmitter. This not only helps you feel happier but also blocks out physical aches and pains. No wonder you feel like walking on clouds after making love, amiright?
Furthermore, sex provides several health benefits. Frequent intercourse boosts your body’s protective antibodies production. This helps your body fight off common illnesses. Sexual activity also lowers your blood pressure, reduces heart attack risk, and can improve your sleep.
So, if we look at this from a purely scientific, biological standpoint, it seems that our bodies do benefit from daily sexual encounters.
But, how do our minds see sex?
According to couples therapist Esther Perel, desire requires distance to thrive. She claims that people feel most attracted to their partners when they reunite after some time apart. This same principle applies to sex. Just like a meal we haven’t had in a while really satisfies our taste buds, sexual intercourse after waiting even just a few days can really increase our cravings and overall satisfaction. Also, meaningless sex is just that: meaningless. When we have sexual encounters that isn’t with someone we see as a partner, that thirst is missing — along with many of the health benefits.
Furthermore, social psychologists found that couples who do the dirty two or more times per week are no happier than those who only do it once each week. Why? Well, there are lots of potential impacts here. For starters, people who feel obligated to perform sexually for their partners don’t receive the positive benefits that come from organic sex. Furthermore, pressure to satisfy a hungry partner also turns off both men and women in the bedroom. When you add all of this on top of our already stressful and draining lives, daily sex really pushes some people over the edge.
Therefore, from a psychological standpoint, daily sex really helps no one.
The final verdict? Listen to your body and your partner.
Should we have sex every day that ends in the letter Y? It’s hard to say for sure, and experts typically disagree. What most experts do agree on, however, is that the best sex is the kind that feels good and makes both participants happy. The right frequency is ultimately what feels right to you and your partner.
Personally, I could never engage in sex daily (much to my partner’s disappointment), but that’s OK. Nobody should ever pressure you to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with, even if they are your spouse. Satisfying sex is the best kind of sex, so do whatever makes you feel good! Leave everyone else’s business where it belongs: between their bedsheets.
Photo by Cassie Lopez on Unsplash
My partner and I have vowed to never have sex before marriage, but tomorrow is our big day, and I’m pretty excited in doing it with the one that I truly love.
Aw! Hope it was great!