Ask Ada: What Should I Do To Smell Fresh ‘Down There’?

Welcome to “Ask Ada,” a weekly series in which we answer all those burning questions you’d rather not share aloud. Buckle up for some brutally honest advice!

Is pineapple really helpful for keeping things fresh “down there?” I don’t like pineapple, but I’m starting to wonder if I should find a way to enjoy it for… reasons.

Signed,

Pinehappy

Hi Pinehappy,

Anecdotally, there’s some evidence that diet has an impact on bodily secretions. Unfortunately, the problem with anecdotes is that the stories may only be true for the people who tell them. Pineapple may indeed make some people’s genitals taste like heaven, but it may or may not work for you. I confess, my asexual ass has no specific observations on pineapple, nor is interested in trying it. But from an academic standpoint, all I can suggest is that you do an experiment and see how pineapple works for you.

The real question here is why your partner makes you feel like you have to eat an expensive fruit you don’t enjoy just so that they can give you head. 

Everyone has something that they’re weird about, and sex is no exception.

If your lover isn’t fond of oral sex, that’s their boundary to set. Luckily for you, there are plenty of other ways to have fun in the bedroom.

But lack of reciprocation with oral sex is a charged issue in cishetero relationships, and if your partner uses your taste as an excuse to receive and never give, well, that’s just shitty. (I don’t mean to assume, but I never hear queer people complaining about the taste of their partner’s bodily fluids). Either invest in flavored lube and dental dams, or stop expecting special treatment, bro. 

It’s not that simple, you may say, and maybe you’re right.

So, instead of making guesses about your relationship, I’ve got a few questions for you: 

Is a lack of oral sex a dealbreaker for you, or are there other things that your partner can do in the bedroom to please you instead?

Is oral sex such a dealbreaker for your partner that you’re OK with choking down pineapple just to please them?

Is this the only aspect of your relationship in which you compromise your personal — ahem — tastes and preferences for your partner’s sake, or is that just another part of your partnership in which you show significantly more effort than they do?

Also, is this something that’s only come up with this person, or is it feedback that you get from multiple partners, despite your doctor telling you that there’s nothing wrong with you?

Furthermore, when your partner complains about the way you taste “down there,” how does it make you feel? Would you talk to your partner the same way that they talk to you? 

If the answer is “no, never,” here’s a final follow-up:

What makes you think that it’s OK for your partner to tell you to change your preferences for them?

Just some food for thought.

Good luck,

Ada

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