The beginning stages of a relationship are supposed to be fun. What’s more, it should be easier than ever to start a relationship these days. But for whatever reason, relationships don’t seem to work that way.
And quite frankly, I’m sick of it.
Gone are the days of finding someone who puts in as much effort as we do. Instead, we find someone then drag out the dating process because we hope this person we haven’t even met will check off all the imaginary boxes that constitute a “perfect partner.”
Instead of grabbing dinner and getting to know someone, we ask ourselves an endless list of questions. Are they a good person? Can I see myself wanting to spend free time with them? Are they good in bed? Do they want what I want? Am I ready? Are they the one I want to be with? Are they worth stopping communication with other people?
Then, when we finally find someone worth dating (which is really hard to do), it can take months of online communication before the relationship actually goes anywhere.
Even during that time, the conversation gets repetitive fast. You spend each day just asking the other person how their day went and discussing future plans, but nobody makes a move because they’re looking for some sort of sign. Sure, you don’t want to look like an idiot, but someone needs to take initiative if you ever want to break up the monotony and meet each other in person.
But that’s not even the worst part. Once you do finally meet up, it’s rare that you even go on an actual date. Instead of grabbing dinner or seeing a movie, you just go for a walk around the block or hook up with each other and hope that it turns into something more.
Now, I’m not saying that formal dates are mandatory. But if you say that you want to “date” someone then you should actually take them on a first date.
Oftentimes, though, after that first meet-up, absolutely nothing changes. Regardless of how well that first encounter went, you often go right back to square one – casual conversation. You both hesitate to suggest hanging out again because you both spend all of your free time overthinking the entire situation.
Honestly, remaining stuck in this constant state of relationship limbo is exhausting, and I hate it.
I wouldn’t label myself as impatient, nor would I say that I’m desperate for the traditional love story. In fact, I just want someone to be honest with me and let a relationship move along at a decent pace instead of taking these ridiculously tiny baby steps.
I don’t want to spend all of my days worrying that didn’t spark a guy’s interest or wondering whether I’m reading signals wrong. Also, I don’t want to get my hopes up for potential that simply isn’t there. I want to enjoy all of the “firsts” in a relationship instead of dismissing them as something minor.
Here’s the deal, guys: The games will always hurt as much as the heartbreak will when it doesn’t pan out. But that shouldn’t hold you back from labeling anything as dating! Seriously, if you’ve spent months getting to know someone and you’ve both expressed your commitment to each other, why not use the “relationship” label?
It’s hard enough to succeed in our dating endeavours these days, so when love actually goes somewhere, I don’t want to look back and regret how it progressed. I just wish we could all feel comfortable enough to let dating progress naturally… don’t you?
Photo by Bruno Bučar on Unsplash
