We live in a world full of cishet culture, but straight people don’t often take time to think about how ridiculous some of their attitudes, actions, and traditions are. Most queer folks really don’t understand straight culture, so here are 24 things straight people do that really confuse the LGBTQ+ community.
1. Give a woman away at her wedding.
Take a moment to think about this popular wedding tradition. It’s sexist. Giving women away supports the unfeminist idea that women can never be their own people and men must supervise them for their entire lives.
2. Constantly hate on their spouses.
Next time you think to say something mean about your partner, remember that queers fought for the right to get married. So don’t joke about hating your wife – you’re lucky that you could marry her without judgment and legal intereference.
3. Host gender reveal parties.
There’s no better way to kick off a lifetime of gender norms than to dictate a baby’s gender before the child is even born.
4. Oversexualize children.
Straight folks like to say that gay people being romantic in public exposes children to sexuality too early. With that said, in what world is gay romance too sexy, but this is still appropriate?
5. Choose overly-complicated baby names.
This especially applies to Southern, White baby names. We’re looking at you, Jaxxon, Everleigh, and Kynlee.
6. Believe that taking care of children is exclusively a woman’s job.
C’mon, men. You can stop watching football for ten minutes to help potty-train your kid.
7. Call men “Mr. Mom.”
If you’re a man who does childcare regularly, you aren’t a mother, you’re still a father. Why does caring for children have to be emasculating?
8. Start caring about style.
Just tuck in your shirt, and choose something other than gym shorts, please.
9. Wear shirts that are long enough to be dresses.
Monogram Simply Southern t-shirts that cover girls’ short gym shorts make me do a double take every time.
10. Pressure their girlfriends into trying anal.
But if their girlfriends mention pegging them, then it’s “gay” and they don’t want anything up their butt.
11. Have sex under the covers, in the dark, in missionary, with socks on.
Boring!
12. Make joint Facebook accounts.
Joint Facebook accounts are the embodiment controlling or untrustworthy partners. They have the same vibe as demanding constant access to your partner’s phone.
13. Post photos of dead animals on Tinder.
Gays know that ethically sourced bones are where it’s at.
14. Look for a “unicorn.”
Straights everywhere are looking for a “unicorn” to spice up their sex lives! But that “unicorn” has to be another girl, because your boyfriend swears that he isn’t “gay.”
15. Watch Jeffree Star.
Watching Jeffree Star doesn’t make you woke, it means that you sit inside and watch makeup tutorials. Plus, you probably turn a blind eye when Jeffree’s being racist.
16. Watch Shane Dawson.
Don’t claim that it’s “for nostalgia” when you know that Shane’s a racist and a pedophile.
17. Tailgate.
What’s the point of getting blackout drunk to watch football?
18. Appropriate cultures.
PSA to straight people: You don’t have a spirit animal. Don’t get Chinese letters or tribal symbols as a tattoo. Also, throw out your Walmart dreamcatcher.
19. Assume that all queer folks know each other just because they’re queer.
“My cousin’s little sister’s aunt’s best friend is gay. He lives, like, across the country but lived here for a month three years ago. His name is Max. Do you know him?”
20. Tell people to “pick a side.”
You need to add some gender fluidity to your life.
21. Ask gay trans people if they’re “just straight.”
From one trans guy to the world, the answer is “no!”
22. Fetishize gay people.
The phrases “You’re a lesbian? I’d love to watch!” and “I’m a straight girl, but I love reading books about gay men” have the same type of connotation.You’re not “so into gay culture;” you’re a fetishizer.
23. Complain that there’s no Straight Pride Month.
Straight Pride Month is every Old Navy 4th of July Sale.
If you’re straight and do any of these things, I hope you’ve gotten straightened out on why queer folks don’t understand your tastes. Do some reflecting and remember that some of the “innocent” things you do don’t seem so innocent to the LGBTQ+ community.
24. Censoring their queer and trans peers.
We get it, performative activism has gotten very popular among straight cisgender folks in this charged political enviornment. We see it on TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and all sorts of other creative platforms. Why not use your cishet privilege and help do something about that instead of stifling queer and trans voices?
Feature Image by Josh Kahen on Unsplash
