Social media has created a new meaning for birthdays. In the past, a thoughtful card was enough — now we have succumbed to the pressure of birthday posts. We watch as our followers receive thoughtful collages, Instagram stories showcasing their friendships, and pictures of all the gifts and surprises they’ve received on their special day. Meanwhile, some of our friends fail to wish us a happy birthday at all. Maybe they are caught up in their own world, or they’re simply substandard friends. Regardless, it doesn’t take away from the fact that social media can make us feel insecure on our birthdays.
We tend to ask ourselves millions of questions, such as, “How do our followers know so many people?” or “Why do our friends opt out of making us birthday posts and surprises?” In some cases, a friend may make a birthday post for someone else but simply fail to remember your special day.
Birthdays on social media make us pay more attention to our social lives and unfortunately, what we are lacking.
If we see our followers and friends receive numerous birthday posts, cake deliveries, and surprises from friends while we don’t get the same treatment, we start feeling as if no one cares about us. It makes us re-evaluate our current friendships and wonder why we don’t have a large circle of friends like our followers do, or why people don’t go all out for our birthdays. It can be disheartening to experience and also make us feel as though we failed socially.
On top of that, social media can turn your day into a rather bitter one, filled with jealousy and detest. It may make you feel unloved, unliked, and disposable. When our birthdays appear to go unnoticed, we feel hurt — it’s normal. Birthdays have become a way for people to boast unintentionally, forcing us to compare more aspects of our lives to those of others.
However, we must realize that similar to the way our followers pose in a way to enhance their body, edit their images, or inflate the successes they have, there is also a side that is hidden from us on social media. Our followers can make it known to their friends that they expect a cake, a surprise party, and a birthday post declaring how wonderful they are. We also don’t know what goes on behind the scenes of our followers’ friendships. Perhaps, their friends are avid social media users and take every opportunity they get to post a photo. It can simply be a false act of care. They may, in fact, not care that much in real life.
There is also nothing wrong with having a small circle of friends.
I understand how there can be tons of pressure to look “liked,” but as you get older, those predispositions slowly start to fade. As many say, a few good friends are better than ten fake ones. So, don’t feel discouraged if your social circle doesn’t consist of twenty people. Chances are, there’s usually some form of drama between the group members that isn’t showcased on social media. However, there is also nothing wrong with having lots of friends and if that’s what your heart is set on!
When it comes to your friends making your birthday feel unnoticed, try not to let it get you down.
It’s possible that they are going through something you don’t know of, and maybe your birthday slipped their mind. However, if you went all out for your friend’s birthday and they failed to make yours special, I would reflect and re-evaluate that friendship. We deserve to receive the same love that we give other people.
So, next time your birthday rolls around, avoid checking social media. Try to spend less time on your phone and more time with the people who do care and always ensure that your day is extra special. It’s time to value real life, not the one we create on social media. Enjoy your birthday, but don’t feel pressured to do something extravagant or discouraged if your celebration is far from glamorous. Reflect on your milestones, not what you could have done. And I beg you to eat as much cake as you want!
Featured image via cottonbro on Pexels
