Most people cycle through friends through their life, coming and going over the years. Sometimes they leave completely and sometimes a friendship takes the back seat only to come back around later on. While it’s not always cut and dry when to cut someone out of your life, when to distance yourself, or when to keep someone in your back pocket, it’s OK to move on.
Some friendships end because they become too one-sided. Think back to your last few friendships that ended, even the not-so-close ones. Think about how those friendships made you feel. Were you always making plans with little to no response on their end? Did they only reach out when they needed something from you? Or maybe they only came to the rescue when it benefitted themselves? These are not the friendships that deserve your energy. You don’t have to entertain friendships if they affect your mental health.
You cannot be the only one putting effort into a friendship.
Now walking away from a friendship seems easy enough on paper, but when you stop seeing eye to eye with your childhood bestie, it can get rocky. No one wants to be the bad guy and say that you two are just not clicking together anymore. It can be hard to navigate your old life and new life, and becomes even harder when a family enters the picture. Maybe you are at different points in life and the struggle to align is taking a toll on your happiness, but letting go of that long-lasting friendship seems daunting.
It is perfectly fine to admit a friendship no longer serves your greater purpose in life and walk away for a while.
Friendships don’t always end dramatically. Sometimes friendships end from circumstances out of our control. Maybe you worked together and lost common interests when someone left the job. Maybe someone got a promotion and the dynamic changed. They no longer feel comfortable being such close with a subordinate employee or you do not want to feel taken advantage of.
Distance doesn’t have to mean gone forever.
As we grow in life, our priorities shift, friendships fizzle out, and friends drift apart. You lose common interests over time and no one is really at fault. You get new friends that you relate with on a more day to day basis, and so do they. Over time, the likelihood of staying in close contact becomes dim. But when the big stuff happens, you’ll still want to call up your old bestie. In the back of your mind you’ll always think, “And when she needs me, I am always there,” because you will be. And that is OK.
Feature Image by Becca Tapert on Unsplash
