Breakups are always difficult for women, but what if there was a way to make them a bit easier to survive? I sat down (virtually!) with Lexi Joondeph-Breidbart, the founder of the Lonely Hearts Club breakup support group. Bubbly and bright, Lexi shared plenty of excellent insights about healing from breakups. She may just inspire you to step out of your post-heartbreak rut!
Q: Tell me a little bit about yourself.
My name’s Lexi, I graduated from NYU Silver School of social work, and I took a class [on running groups] that I really enjoyed. I really gravitated towards learning about heartbreak. I was supposed to start [Lonely Hearts Club] in person, but when COVID-19 hit, I decided to make it virtual. The reason I gravitate towards breakups is that [when] people go through loss, they feel really deep emotions. You… meet them at a really vulnerable and genuine place [because] there’s nothing surface-level when it comes to heartbreak.
Q: What inspired you to start Lonely Hearts Club?
I have gone through bad breakups, but I think the real inspiration was being surrounded by friends going through breakup situations. A lot of support systems don’t focus on heartbreak and [instead] have a “just get over it” attitude. [Groups like that are{ not always helpful, [though]. [Breakups are] a huge [and complicated] loss.
Q: What do you hope women will gain from joining Lonely Hearts Club?
I hope they’ll become more confident. [Confidence is] something that’s really lost in a breakup, and I’m already seeing that [in women] when they come to my group. I’ve heard women make statements like, “I know he’s not right for me” [when they didn’t feel that way before joining my group]. And I think part of it is [the other women surrounding you]. After a breakup, we have these thoughts [about our partners and ourselves], and when women come together, they realize that [their feelings are] not specific to them — there are other people feeling this way.
Q: We’re living in strange times. Have you seen a difference in how women respond to breakups during COVID-19?
A lot of women are having a harder time surrounding themselves with friends. [This is] is a huge part of healing yourself and creating new experiences. I’ve seen a lot of women who said that the pandemic was a catalyst for [their breakups], and I’ve also seen a lot of women spending time on social media, where they can see pictures of their exes and wonder what they’re up to. Other women are glad they broke up during [the pandemic] because they think that their exes can’t meet anybody. There are a lot of different [changes because of COVID-19].
Q: What’s your top advice for women who are going through a breakup?
To remember that there’s no expiration on heartbreak and that the progress you make from heartbreak is not linear. It’s important to remember [this] because there’s no one way to heal through heartbreak. [No matter how long it takes to heal], cut yourself some slack.
Q: What’s it like to run a virtual group?
There are pros and cons to [running] a virtual group. I was [originally] planning on having eight people in each group. [However], I’ve limited it to four or five so that everyone has a chance to talk. The cons are that we can’t always see facial expression or tone of voice [but women’s reactions to the group make up for it]. I’ve been able to connect with women [all over the country who are] experiencing heartbreak, [and] it shows that heartbreak is universal. Also, doing a group from the comfort of your own home can be a little more comforting. [It helps] people open up more.
Even COVID-19 won’t stop Lexi Joondeph-Breidbart from helping women who are recovering from their recent breakups. Her determination to help women from all walks of life shines through, and her insight helps anyone who’s experiencing heartbreak. If you feel angry and sad after a breakup, Lexi’s Lonely Hearts Club group is true proof that you will move forward and love again.
Featured Photo via Google Creative Commons.
