I didn’t understand the types of struggles couples go through until I got into a relationship myself. My boyfriend and I met abroad. To me, our cultural differences were the only apparent obstacles. However, that wasn’t entirely true. One day, I went out with a few friends, and he genuinely asked me where I was going. Since it happened to be late evening, he worried about my safety. Then, I mentioned that a guy friend would be there as well. Although I did introduce him to that friend, he looked uncertain but didn’t insist. I never thought much of it until the tables have turned. He met his friend, a woman, on a late evening. He never talked to me about her; neither did he tell me he was meeting her with other friends.
From then on, it went downhill. It started with minor doubts, which quickly led to self-doubt. I wondered if I was good enough for him to stay by my side. Jealousy crept in, filling my mind with concerns about how long they knew each other and what it might mean for my relationship. So, how could I possibly be sure that my partner wouldn’t leave me for a woman with whom he had always been comfortable? Instead of asking him all these questions, though, I made assumptions. This, in turn, led to misunderstandings and conflict.
Perhaps none of us can help but question our partner’s opposite-sex friendships. Call it instinct or being overprotective — we must acknowledge these feelings.
That’s right, feelings. Not emotions; feelings. These are temporary. But there are still reasons behind the way you feel. Perhaps a trauma from a past relationship keeps you from trusting your partner. In that case, your behavior is understandable. But you have to remember that trust and communication are core values in any relationship. So express your doubts and share your worries with your partner to eliminate unnecessary anxiety and insecurities. It might take some time, but it’s essential to move forward together.
You have to remember it’s easy for your feelings and misconceptions to cloud your judgement. Although your partner might have been friends with his or her opposite-sex friend for years, they chose to be romantically involved with you and not them. Because you were able to love them in a way nobody else could, and that’s vital to remember.
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